Looking for some help about marriage

Matt_fs

Hope this isnt a repost, couldnt find anything on the subject.

Have a friend who is marrying a JW. He isn't a JW but she is (even though she doesnt really go or believe in it), her parents are strict JW's but wont goto their wedding cause of something about being unevenly yoked? Now they both want her parents to go, but the parents tend to think they are not allowed to go.

Now one of the brides friends is going to a wedding where again the groom is a JW but the bride isnt, so they went to their elders and asked if it was ok to go and they said it was a conscience matter. Now my friends brides parents said they will do some research to see if they are actually allowed to go (how controlled is that!).

Anyways I told my friend that I would look into some things as well and hopefully get some answers. I looked in the bible but am unsure where exactly to look on the subject. Can anyone shed some light to where i can look? or a good website on the subject? Maybe something the bible says that will convince them that it is OK to go? Maybe the bible doesnt say its ok, but I just need some good info.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Cheers

Matt

treadnh2o

Matt, I do not mean to be evasive about sharing scriptures, but I will tell you that their decision will probably be based on how it will be perceived in the local congregation. There are liberal and conservative elder bodies in the JW organization. While they could not counsel the parents they could give them attitude. This is inline with all the cultish references you will read on this site. You are probably a great friend since you care, but you will create far less turmoil if you do not involve yourself in your friends situation. The less stirring of the pot the better chance of your friend having a future relationship with his in-laws. And learn from his mistake. He is really screwed if she decides she wants back in in a couple years. His life will suck.

zeroday

Have a friend who is marrying a JW. He isn't a JW but she is

This alone should tell your friend what he is about to get himself into...this is just the beginning...holidays, birthdays and a host of other obsticles that will come up in his new life...what about children in the future will they be raised JW will they be able to participate in family events if the inlaws object to celebration...forget about who will or will not attend the wedding he better know for sure what he is getting himself into...hell on earth...

shamus100

Marrying into a cult is never a good thing -

You're friend is marrying into a life of hell. That's the truth.

LovesDubs

Even if this woman isnt an active JW now, if her parents are there will be constant pressure to get her to go and him to go too. And if there are children, the mom might not be pushing the religion but the grandparents WILL and every time they have those kids they will be training them as JWs and taking them to meetings and such. Trust me...trust us....this HAPPENS.

Maybe if they sign a pre-nup saying that their children will NOT be raised as or around JWs or the marriage is DONE.

Carmel

I'm not a biblical scholar, but it seems to me that the "unevenly yoked" comment comes from the Apostle Paul and not Christ. The Watchtower extrapolates tons of rules that go far beyond scripture and it only takes reference to one such for most JWs to jump to attention and not go against the congregation elder or elderette. Christ would not likely have layed such a burden. carmel

Metamorphosis

My father was an elder and faced this situation w/ one of my brothers. The answer from a circuit overseer (one of the leading men in the JW's) was that for a normal JW it is a conscience matter - but for an elder to go w/ be giving tacit approval to the arrangement and he would be considered not fit to continue serving as an elder due to the "example" he set. Now - true - the answer makes no sense - it should be a conscience matter no matter your position - but that is what he was told after consulting w/ the CO. So if your friend's parents hold any "positions" in the kingdom hall that could be an extra reason why they consider they're not "allowed" to go.

Morph

garybuss

Your friend is an idiot if he marries into that mess. One of my living rules is never do anything stupid on purpose, there's enough stupid that happens by accident. Marrying into a family of Jehovah's Witnesses is my definition of stupid.

nameless_one

Condolences to your friend

Technically this comes down to a "conscience matter," but what that really means is that it depends on what their elders are like and how hard-core the parents are. If the wedding is being held in a church, that complicates things further. Looking to the bible is an admirable thing, but it's not going to help you here -- you won't find anything spelled out there, and many of the JW "rules" don't come from the bible anyway.

For the record, I think your friend is making a huge mistake. Whether or not the bride's parents attend the wedding is the least of, and only the beginning of, his problems. Does he fully know what he's getting himself into? If it's not too late, the best thing you can do for him as a friend is make sure he knows.

HSS1971

Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. Matt - tell your friend to run for the hills !! When it comes to the jws, you never just marry the person, you marry the wacktower organization.

Looking for some help about marriage

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