Hello all (page 2)

changeling

Welcome!

I feel for you and your children. This religion is sooo destructive and unfair.

Do you children have regular contact with your husband's side of the family? If so, build on that so your kids can have a strong sense of family. The fact that your family (especially your parents) have not sought out your children is disturbing to me. Sounds like diehard witnesses. Perhaps they would be the type to try to take your kids to meetings and such if you let them go over to their home?

Anyway, if you think you could make and arrangement where the family could see your kids w/o influencing them, it might be worth a try. If you don't think that's possible than maybe it's best to explain to your kids that your family does not approve of you because you don't follow their religion. Help them to see it has nothing to do with them, that they've done nothing wrong.

All the best,

changeling :)

yknot

The corporation causes us to lose ties with so many.....and it is wrong wrong wrong wrong !!!!

On another note....here is a suggestion ....start sending photos and short newsy letters about the kids to the grandparents. Tell them it is so sad that because 'spiritual matters' has been mistaken for all family matters. Tell them that your child is asking why. Ask them how you are to explain to her that it is not that they don't love her or love you as their child. Ask them how spending time with the grandkids is 'mixing' with you as a DFd person. I know several JWs who interact with the grandkids but have minimal interaction with their adult child and they are ELDERS!

Don't be afraid to start hacking at the ice....apply FS mentality....today was not their day, circumstance and view change, knock again next month.

burningbridges

wow. rought boat. As difficult of a thing it is, I also agree that it is best to keep her from them. It may hurt her now, but in the long run it is going to be much better and healthier for her to not be influenced by them. Just think of the potential problems if they hit it off and they start witnessing to her and she wants to go to the hall with them, things like that. They might make remarks to her that are hurtful about holidays, the church she attends, ext. Of course its their "christian duty" to teach them to shun too... and that means you. I like the idea that was suggested that they think that church is family. Also, never forget that kids are way smarter than we give them credit for. You could explain that they have chosen to not have you be a part of their life because you worship God different but that our family doesn't do that to people because we love everyone. (right there that will put a negative condenation with the religion in her mind)

Are thier other older family friends of yours/ neighbors who could fill the roll of "aunt jenni" or "grandma sweetheart" ? The title and the close association might be a good subsitution. My boyfriend had no family, all of his had past as a young boy. However, he grew up with numerous friends of the family that were refered to as "uncle so and so" and such and to this day he feels that they are just as good as family and the bond is just as strong. I think she needs that space in her heart filled, it doesnt necessarily need to be with them.

burningbridges

doofdaddy

I agree with others not to let your daughter be unsupervised around jw relatives. If you knew one was a child abuser would you allow her to be around them unsupervised? Jw's use the same tactics, grooming. Do you have near relatives that are jws? Make a bridge with them and any healthy older role models you know e.g. friends parents. Good luck!

doofdaddy

That was to read NOT jws. Sorry

Quandry

Welcome to the forum.

I am just so sad that this is happening to your family. I am sad that your parents are willing to miss out on being grandparents to your precious children.

Some day they may be very sorry when they grow old and are no longer useful to the wonderful organization that encourages them to shun you.

Do they really think in the future that the people at the KHall are going to drive them to Drs, clean and cook for them, and stay with them when they are sick?

That's when the elders will contact you and your children and tell you to fulfill your family obligations. By that time your parents will be almost strangers to you.

It makes me very angry.

cawshun

Welcome, I agree that it's not a good idea to let her be alone with jw relatives. My heart goes out to you, my grand-children mean the world to me and your parents are missing out on one of the greatest gifts in life!

tooktheredpill

WELCOME, Peace!!!

TTRP

Quirky1

Welcome Peace!

You have a bumpy road ahead.

Follow the advice posted.

Q

FlyingHighNow

Welcome, Peace.

I'd tell them your family is very eccentric and belong to a bizarre church that only lets them visit with other members of the same bizarre church and that over time, you will find them surrogate family.

Hello all

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