PAIN

Maddie

Hello everyone, I haven't been on the forum for quite a while. I have been trying to move on with my life I guess and succeeding to some extent - got a new job and getting out and about more etc. For anyone that remembers I have a JW son, his wife and a one year old grand daughter who I have been trying to keep in my life after deciding I didn't want to have anything to do with the cult myself. Several months ago I told my son I had problems with the Org and what some of those reasons were. After that I decided not to say any more so as to be able to still have my family in my life.

Things have been a bit tense since then, especially with my daughter-in-law who seems to be very controlling because of her insecurity and fears. However, I had been seeing my little grand daughter most weeks which made me very happy. Then seemingly out of the blue I get a phone call from my son saying that I can't go over there any more because I have thrown the towel in on the "Truth" and have apostate views. Next I received a letter from them comfirming that I am no longer going to be a part of their life!

The past few days have been terrible for me as I agonise over so many things. Self-doubt about myself are tormenting me most of the time as perhaps I could of handled things better, or even kept my mouth shut about my feelings. Maybe I should of made the ultimate sacrifice and lived the lie, then I wouldn't of lost them. I just find it so difficult to not be honest about my feelings - whether they be right or wrong.

Right now I feel that my insides have been ripped out, the pain is so bad! I am trying to be strong and carry on doing the usual things in life and just hope that one day things will change. It's really hard not to let anger and resentments get the better of me as I know they are destructive feelings that will eat away at me and may even destroy me.

I have a dream that one day the WT will collapse and all the poor trapped souls inside that evil empire will be set free.

Maddie

avishai

((((maddie)))

flipper

MADDIE- I remember your story well. I am so sorry that your son and daughter in law have taken this stand against you. If I'm not mistaken you are not DFed are you ? So really by NOT associating with you, technically they are going against the organization they claim to represent. My 2 daughters , witnesses, 21 and 20 are doing the same thing with me. But I call them from time to time just showing authentic caring and love. Remember your son and wife are mind controlled to think this way - and the organization I hear is clamping down more on the ever dangerous " apostate thinking " !

So perhaps you could give them a call still sometime , nicely, not play their shunning game - just be authentic with them . Nothing says you have to ALLOW them to shun you. It is true we can't force ourselves on our kids- but we can show them we don't agree with the unloving shunning process by showing love in return. In time it may bring back your son and daughter in laws non-cult, authentic personality ! Hang in there ! Don't give up ! Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

Princess Daisy Boo

Oh Maddie, what can I say...

I know what your are feeling, except in reverse ( I am the child, barely hanging onto a relationship with my JW parents) and my heart goes out to you.

We are here for you - this is what tis forum is about after all.

(((Maddie)))

llbh

Hi Maddie i am so sorry to hear what has happened to you , that is truly awful.

I know you have worked so hard , hopefully one day they will return to you

Regards David

Mickey mouse

I have a dream that one day the WT will collapse and all the poor trapped souls inside that evil empire will be set free.

You and me both. Sorry you are going through this pain.

Gopher

Hi Maddie, I remember you! I'm sorry that you're back in the forum under such trying circumstances. As you know, you've run head-on into cult mind-control here.

Your daughter-in-law appears to be pulling the strings here, and at this point there's little you can do. The agony you feel over this is hitting me hard as I type this. Perhaps you can occasionally send 'gifts from grandma' to keep in your granddaughter's life -- I hope they wouldn't interfere with you doing that! As time goes on, maybe after years, your granddaughter will appreciate that you are an important part of the family and will ask to see you. I don't know, but you can always hope.

Don't beat yourself up too much over talking with your son about your real feelings. You were just explaining yourself, and did nothing wrong. As Flipper pointed out, it's your daughter-in-law who's overstepping the bounds here and affecting family relationships-- and at some point karma will be repaid.

Mr. Majestic

Hi Maddie,

I have often wondered how you were getting on. I am so sorry to hear of your sad news. You really must be feeling so down and out right now….

The situation you are in is so cruel. Thing is, there is nothing that can be said that can take that pain away. All I can say is that I am sorry that you are suffering….

Hope that you are not beating yourself up. That wouldn’t be right. It is the religion that is wrong. You are just a victim of it, as is your son and daughter-in-law.

I hope that they see a bit of light and reconsider their perspective.

So sorry Maddie…….

Maddie

Thank you all for your support. I tend to put the blame on my daughter-in-law, rather than my son - I guess because it's easier to do that. Truth is that my son has to take as much responsibility because I am his mother after all.

Today I didn't go to work because I feel very emotional and can't seem to get it out of my mind and get on with life. I really hope that it will get easier as time goes on because I need to draw a line under it once and for all.

Mr. Flipper - I just don't want to cling on to a false hope that one day things will be different. Asmuch as it pains me I have to let go somehow for my own sanity. You are right in saying that I am not df'd, just not going to the KH any more, but it doesn't seem to matter these days does it?

snowbird

Hey Maddie,

Just last week, I was wondering about you.

I don't have any words, but here's a big (((((((Maddie))))))).

Sylvia

PAIN

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