by the content of your post, i really wonder if your problems have much to do with the Jehovah's Witnesses...
Solace, by the content of your post, I really wonder if you've had your eyes opened yet about how horrible the WTS truly is. IO~I feel your pain. Sometimes I can't read any posts on here at all because it's too painful to be reminded of all of the years of my life that have been irrevocably lost to the Borg and how my past experiences have tainted my present and future. I think that the pain of having been a JW and all its accompanying craziness is always with you but that you can still find joy in life. It's really important to learn to accept that you can't change the past but you can affect your future. Coming to peace with our pasts is very hard, especially when we have so much to regret, but it is necessary if we don't want to allow the WTS to continue to rob us of our lives. I hope you feel better soon. StAnn