~ Just found out that my dad has died ~ (page 5)

Thank you, everyone. Can you believe I only just now got off the phone with my sister? It's 3:30 AM here. We talked about so many things and more than once she started witnessing to me. I got stuff about the book study and how they have downsized at Bethel. One time I had to change the subject. I couldn't listen anymore, so I told her that her voice sounded very youthful. I haven't had time to be alone with my thoughts. I took the regular dose of anxiety med.I had been cutting it down in stages to get on it on as needs basis. I figure tonight I will not sleep without a full dose. Thank goodness I don't have to work tomorrow. Wednesday I work only 3 hours and then off again on Thursday. But I work Friday, Saturday and Sunday. *Sighhh*

I really appreciate your support and loving concern. I'm fighting so hard to stay strong through life anyway. This is another straw on the camel's back. I am in that floaty kind of surreal shock you go into upon learning of a death. I've been a symbolic orphan for years now. And so now it's just bonafied. Tomorrow I will have to get the courage to call Dad's wife. Good night, or what's left of it anyway.

Sparkplug

FHN, I really wish with what you are going through that I were closer so that I could truly be a friend. I hate that this monitor sometimes keeps me from doing things like hugging you. You seem to need one. I feel for you sweetie. It is even harder when the ones you love leave when you are down. I truly am sorry for your loss and losses.

Love Decki