I feel like I'm being pushed away (page 4)

owenfieldreams

Sadly, your story is very common. The whole 'hours' thing has always bothered me. On one hand, they say from the platform constantly, "just give your best", and, "stop judging others", but then if you become an elder or ms, if you get less than 10 hrs /mth in fs, then it seems to be some unwritten rule that your amount of service is unacceptable.

lancelink

The point that amazed me was when you stated that you both served in several different congregations and the attitude was the same ! I somehow thought(fantasy) that things like this only happened in the cong. i once attended.

megawatt

Big welcome!!!

I know exactly what you're talking about. Growing up as an elder's son and hearing from my father's mouth people's dirty laundrey to my mom (for some reason he would spill the beans to my mom in the car ride to/or from the KH), is something I will always remember. Never had any REAL trust in elders after witnessing that. They're human and imperfect, which goes to show you that they're not appointed by holy spirit.

It's a boys club really, something I naturally never blonged to. Feel free to post up any problems, I know it helps me...

Younglove1999

I haven't been around for a while, but I caught this-it sounded like something I would have posted-

my husband and I were constantly being hounded for our service hours- we had a high needs elderly mother (his mom) to take care of, both worked full time, husband was an MS and in charge of territory and accounts and we were just constantly overwhelmed. Whenever we had "meetings" to discuss our hours, we'd try to tell them how we were feeling and it was brushed off.

long story short, we were so glad to finally fade away- my parents are still very active, and our fade is a little over a year old, so we're still treading lightly-

anyways- welcome! you're not alone!

Not Feeling It

Then the elders told us that we need to have a good report before the CO comes to visit again. Oh, so now it's about looking good for some person, and now about sincerely giving to Jehovah because it's the right thing to do? Can anyone say DOUBLE STANDARD?!
Finally, about 3 weeks ago, my husband stepped down as a ministerial servant. The elders pretended to be so shocked and upset, but they basically pushed him away. They treated him like a puppet, and now that he's thinking for himself, most of the elders snub him big time!

I think you just did what they wanted. If your husband wanted to be a MS they could not have deleted him for service time. That is seriously weak. But you did it for them. So, I wish you the best. I never served as MS and I'm glad of it. Enjoy your life off of the JW hamster wheel. Don't let anyone give you crap about your relationship with God as if they can measure your spirituality.

-- Not Feeling It

BluesBrother

Welcome heybaby !

I can relate to so much of what you say.. Wherever you are, it is just the same around here. I served as an elder for 24 years in four congs , and a M S before that and saw the same - a chauvanistic boys club..

In respect of Field Ministry hours, they will expect the aged and infirm to report low, but give no quarter to the working couple struggling to make ends meet. Better get a zimmer frame to get empathy !

Fishbulb

WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME!!!!!!!
The hours. It was all about the hours. In the 13 years that I was a baptized witness I worked my ass off to keep my hours far above average often times auxiliary pioneering (60hrs). It was my goal to become a servant and I was never once appointed. Why? It changed from visit to visit but finally when I had done everything they asked of me and I still was not appointed, they began to pick on my hours which averaged 9 hrs a month at that point. That's when my brain began to snap and I almost instantly stopped going out in service all together as I had finally realized it was more about the numbers than it was actually teaching people the bible and more about appearance than effort.
What was interesting, though, is that despite never being appointed I clearly saw the boys club in full swing. Oh the political wrangling that would go on in my old hall. It mostly happened either in the back school during the meetings or in a "brief" elders meeting right after amen.

VoidEater

Can anyone say DOUBLE STANDARD?!

Double standard.

I can also say Hypocrisy.

MsMcDucket

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy! You're starting to understand what they have been doing! Having to turn in a time slip to prove you love God is weird!

moshe

Welcome , H-B,

I hope it all works out for you and your hubby. Sometimes spouses find out they have little in common after the JW handcuffs are taken off. - just an observation.

I feel like I'm being pushed away

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