Why stay in a miserable relationship the first time if things aren't working? Both my husband and me are enjoying our second marriage. In both of our first marriages, divorce was a good thing. Life is to short to stay with the wrong person.
Purza
by asilentone 27 Replies latest social relationships
Why stay in a miserable relationship the first time if things aren't working? Both my husband and me are enjoying our second marriage. In both of our first marriages, divorce was a good thing. Life is to short to stay with the wrong person.
Purza
I would prefer to get it right the first time, and hit the home run. Having never been married, I wouldn't know. I find dating or anything involving that with JW's to be the B IGGEST headache I've ever dealt with in my life.
Probably better to marry once, then do it a bunch of times. But...maybe wait until later in life. I'm a without a doubt more mature now, than tens years ago, and it's amazing how your feelings and likes do change. You do start to see the whole picture. If anything I had no realistic view of marriage,finances, work,etc at 21. More like a hopeful fancy back then.
But of course we were going to pioneer, be merry, and await the big A to bail us out
I believe that we enter marriage intending to make a lifelong committment.
If things get rough, we should make every attempt to smooth things out.
We should speak about the rough problems and seek outside therapy if
necessary. At the very least, we should tell the spouse why we are unhappy
in a situation.
Sometimes, things do not work out. People change and grow in different
directions. Sometimes, we meant the things we agreed to at the beginning, but
we can no longer mean them- examples like having/not having children, where
we live, how to plan for the future. Some marriages will end, but just spending
time together attempting to honestly communicate can often overcome that.
We should not cheat on a spouse- if we want something else, get the divorce.
Before we get the divorce, know that we tried to work it out.
My point is that one is not better than the other. There are different reasons
people are in different situations. I just think there are too many people who
had problems, so they gave up or cheated or disappeared.
If one person was miserable in a marriage where their spouse did something
to them or to spite them, and they divorced- IT IS BETTER THAT THEY WERE
MARRIED BEFORE as they enter into another relationship with experience.
It is not a one-size-fits-all world.
The whole concept of swearing undying love for someone for all eternity seems so unrealistic to me.
Me, too. I just don't see the purpose in it and would never have done so if then was now.
As far as the grass being/not being greener comment (which I get told quite a lot), my reply is that grass always seems to turn brown. Also, people are not grass so it just doesn't fit either way!
I think that it's nice to find the right one the first time and never leave them. But, it doesn't always work that way. It's better to be married a few times and find the right one than stay married to the wrong one for the rest of your life.
I learned my lesson the first time. Not doing it again.
One, two, three, four - who's counting!!