Men: what do you want us women to know to understand you better?

by LouBelle 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • flipper
    flipper

    LOUBELLE- O.K. You want information and honesty here- so here I go ! I don't speak for all men, just myself and what I've learned from my wife and previous relationships - so here goes !

    1. Communication - We really enjoy communicating with you as an equal partner. We don't want to control you ; however we don't want to be controlled or mothered as well. Don't make an issue over small things - i.e. ( how we squeeze the damned toothpaste out of the tube ) . Life is stressful enough - don't sweat the small stuff ! That includes us as well being your guy. If you look for the good in us, we will return the compliment and look for the good in you and emphasize that constantly ! Men enjoy helping their women and we want to feel we can assist you, or open a door for you without feeling you don't need our help. If a man is never allowed to assist his lady with tasks, he feels a lack of self esteem and feels he can never be of any use to his lady ! We need to feel needed, just like you women ! We want to be wanted and desired as well ! We know you love us ; but we enjoy hearing the words just like you do ! And we will keep telling you also !

    2. Sex- All of us really are NOT pigs only desiring our own orgasms and sexual pleasure ! Many of us take wonderful delight and pride in wanting to please our lady first and being able to give her pleasure ; and hold off for our orgasm later, after her, or have the ability to climax at the same exact time as her ! That is better still ! Some of us as men do understand that if our wives or girlfriends are NOT responsive - it could be of our own making - perhaps we as men are making sex seem too much like a duty or obligation ! Or we are not setting the right atmosphere or emotional mood conditions to have a fulfilling " interchange of encouragement " if you get my drift ! And by the way- we as men do enjoy " cuddling " as well after sex- we enjoy the close emotions as well that draw us close to our women ; and make them draw close to us too !

    3. We as men want to be your equal. For some of those men coming out of a patriarchal JW religion - that may be a hard concept to swallow , but if we as men want to be in a " long term " relationship with a modern day lady , it's imperative to not demean any woman we are with or try to control them. Just because we were controlled by a " mind control cult " doesn't give us the lisence to control any female in a relationship ! We understand if you need space as a woman , and realize there may be rough times of the month for you ! Don't worry- many of us men enjoy cooking dinner for you anyway throughout the month! So we will help you shoulder burdens ; if you let us ! WE aren't mind readers though- we have to KEEP TALKING to understand one another. It is a big key ! For both man and woman ! So- hope this helps a bit ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • Mincan
    Mincan

    Men and Women, besides some important differences of anatomy and certain brain processes, are essentially the same. The rest is acculturation. Gender roles are a social construct. I deteste them and it's all good. I've found the ones that understand this.

  • hillbilly
    hillbilly

    Men and Women, besides some important differences of anatomy and certain brain processes, are essentially the same. The rest is acculturation. Gender roles are a social construct. I deteste them and it's all good. I've found the ones that understand this. Mincan

    Call me in 20 years Mincan. I remember reading the same book you have read.... that guy didnt have a clue.

    I've found the ones that understand this

    Okie dokie, little bro................

    ~Hill

  • Mincan
    Mincan
    Call me in 20 years Mincan. I remember reading the same book you have read.... that guy didnt have a clue.

    I have read no book. It's personal observation. In many ways (ways of relating, desires, thought processes, etc) I am the stereotypical female, which has lead me to believe these things are socially constructed in my personal experience. I do not feel like most males. It could be related to my high level of intuition which is a result of my neurological make-up. Perhaps its because I am more "process oriented" rather than "goal oriented" as a previous poster has stated. Perhaps the norm is for males to be quite different.

    I do not relate to the jokes males make about females. I don't relate to them. Sorry. It's probably why up until recently I have felt unable to connect to females, but no, the opposite is true!

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    I'm a quiet person. I've always been that way. I like it that way. It doesn't mean I'm thinking about how big your ass is or how many cheese curds I can count on your thighs. Spending half a day nagging me to "share my feelings" probably won't result in your hearing a response that you're happy with.

    W

  • The Lone Ranger
    The Lone Ranger

    With all seriousness, I think the biggest problem is "Us Women" and " Us Men" ...... simply put, the genders are divided.

  • The Lone Ranger
    The Lone Ranger

    Another thing I should have added, stop thinking about "Women and Men" and start thinking about "you and him", look at yourself as an individual and the man you love (or hope to love) as another individual, if you have issues its not "Women and Men" issues keep it as "yours and His" Issues.

  • burningbridges
    burningbridges

    Mr. Flipper, I'm impressed!!!!

    burningbridges

  • trevor
    trevor

    So many great remarks from the guys here.

    I really have nothing to add to Flipper's comments. Very astute for a dolphin - almost human.

    A hard act to follow.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5
    Well, you could fondle our naughty bits more.

    a frequent request...so I hear

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