I have been thinking that I am over it - I am OK - I am not angry anymore, but after a conversation with one of my best friends today, well I am not sure...
My husband comes from an Anglican/Catholic background. We, however, as a couple are not religious at all and have never tried to take our kids to church or Sunday School etc. I sometimes feel that we should be giving them some attempt at a christian education, but I cannot bring myself to go to a church.
This forthcoming Sunday we are invited to a family christening in the catholic church. Nic and I have a prior commitment for lunch, but our babysitters for the day are going to the christening and therefore so are my kids. I have been preparing the kids for the experience - telling them where they are going and so on and my 5 year old proudly announces how he is so excited as he has never been to church - I am hoping that he doesn't announce this too loudly at the event! Anyway I digress...
My friend and I were chatting about Ewan's comment and whether or not we should be taking the kids to sunday school and she asked why I have this aversion to church. I started explaining things to her. I told her about going to meetings three times a week and going on FS and what the meetings were like and what my parents were like and so on. I tried to explain away my issues with "God" and why I dont even know whether I believe in Him. I told her that it is a mind control cult and it's members are brainwashed and she was shocked - she said she always figured they were a bit loony but she never realised just how so. She said that from what I had told her, I should have been seeing a shrink to deal with these issues. She said that she thought I should be working through these things and not burying them.
Suddenly I had a meltdown - I think she may be right. I feel like I am back to where I started. I am not over it.