by New light for you 24 Replies latest jw friends
thank you Lance....
I realize that i HATE that i'm DFing them... i dont know how much i want to keep trying to reach out and be rejected, i dont know if i can handle that, but It's an interesting approach, i really should try to talk to at least everyone i would want to talk to before... anything happens.
There are still a few people locally I'd like to say good-bye to as well. For the same reasons - to let them know I'm not evil, and that I'm not rejecting them. But at the same time, still afraid this might be the catalyst for a harsh end to our fade. If it's starting to hit the fan, then I'll just have to talk to everyone quickly I guess.
WELL done. It's awful, and messed up, and wrong in so many ways, but probably the only way to handle all the separations. When I was just about to be dfd I told all of my friends instead of letting them hear it at the k/hall or through other people. I'm a bit bummed that I didn't entirely have it together then, and I was telling them all that I'd be reinstated, but I did get to have one last conversation with them and I was actually in a really good frame of mind during that period. I had this feeling that life was changing in a good way, in a way that I had control over. It makes me feel good about those last dignified conversations I had with a lot of people who I now know were never my friends at all.
what i'm realizing is that the brothers told people to start calling me again. since the brothers came monday i keep getting messages again... so this is a short time i'm going to have the "approval" i'm guessing. Hell, i had my daughters birthday party saturday, she's going to camp at a church- my husband wants to find me a girlfriend (hahaa) we've jumped off the deep end and it's not gonna last. May as well get out of the way a few great goodbyes and move along. I love you all, but i dont want to be in 'limbo' here for years and years... maybe just a year or so... i dont want them to have anymore of my life.
We'll see... i say that now......
I'll be your girlfriend! ;) :D Oh wait, were we not talking about that kind??? hehehe
Good luck with everything, hun, it will be a roller coaster ride for awhile but it DOES get better...hang in there!
