Emotionally drained (page 2)

redredrose

Heybaby,

I'm so sorry you're going through this. And I also agree wholeheartedly about it being hard to let go of something that you've invested so much time, effort and emotion into.

It would be nice to have some insightful advice to you, but all I know is that only time will help you heal.

LovesDubs

First of all ignore Satanus... he has obvious issues and probably suffers from Oedipus Syndrome. :)

You know when you marry and you are both JWs you really think hey...we both have the "truth" we both love Jehovah we both have the same values and want the same things in life and have the same expectations...what could go wrong? Then when that one thing, the religion, is removed from the mix, you look at each other and ask what else is there to keep us together? Did I love that person for who they were or who they were in the Kingdom Hall? Yknow? I think thats true of many many JW couples.

My best friend in the Borg married a man who was "safe" because he was a JW. He was shorter than her. Older by 10 years. Quiet to her vivaciousness. Preferred solitude to her love of people. Was introverted to her extroverted self....and they had two children soon after marriage. She tried and tried and tried for many years to make this marriage work and became lonlier and lonlier and more hungry for the life she had as a single person surrounded by friends. And it eventually drove her into the arms of another man. An ELDER no less. But outside of the JWism, they had nothing in common at all when it came down to it.

I left the Borg in 1997 after being in it 13 years. I was married 10 of those years to another JW. When I left, I thought we were done. But because we had three children I stayed and stayed and stayed. Now at 53 and after dealing with some horrible things, we are still together but we have this weird room mate like relationship and just happen to sleep in the same bed. I am not looking forward to when my kids are gone because he and I have nothing really in common. So if you have time now and think there could be someone out there to fill your soul and your life and be your companion, and that is true for him too, then out of love release each other. You can remain friends if this is a mutual agreement. No reason you cant and be happy for each others happiness.

Yeah its scary and sad. Whenever a relationship ends, marriages or friends. But you cant change the other person, and really...who wants to do that?

hugs, LD

Satanus

I suppose that there is always a chance that it could be fixed. They have to decide that. But, if they aren't happy together, got no love, what is the point of staying together? It's wasting time, imo. Sure, breaking up and divorce are painful. The idea is that they would both be happier w someone else, or even by themselves. Lots of people have wasted yrs in hopeless relationships, some entire lives. It not only makes them miserable, but children also, if there are any.

S

yknot

That SUCKS!

I am so sorry HeyBaby . Nobody ever wants to have 'talks' of that nature.

Is it definite or just a rut?

Sending you vibes of love, hugs and support.

str8?so is spaghetti..until you heat it up

Heybaby, darling, darling one - you know how i feel about this sweetheart. It will be a rough ride love.

You have my support.

xx

jaguarbass

It sounds like you married for lust.

Marriage is a financial aggrangement to share assests and liabilities.

If one or the other is not doing their share their will be tension and resentment.

Marrying for lust will not last. It is shallow , your eye will always see someone lustier.

str8?so is spaghetti..until you heat it up

I'm not liking the judgement calls here people.

Heybaby opened her heart and showed us what was happening to her now that she has seen the evil of the borg - how her husband is reacting, and everyone is all too keen to one:

Give advice on what the basis of her marriage was and

two: how quickly she shoudl divorce him.

Instead how about we provide heybaby with the emotional support she needs to go through this dark time?

heybaby

str8: thank you for your support. I love you dearly!! jaguarbass: don't you dare make an assertion about why I got married and DO NOT imply that either myself or my husband have not been doing our share. You don't have any clue what our life is like. We both bust our asses at work and do our best to keep things running smoothly and efficiently. I pity all those who come into a relationship with a close-minded, cold, and judgmental person such as yourself. you'd fit in better with the JWs - you're certainly as shallow and judgmental as all of them.

Awakened at Gilead

Hey heybaby,

I heartly agree (for once, lol) with Rob....

As I am in a very similar situation, as was NL4U... I do suggest that you do not rush into a decision... I suggest a cooling off period.. give it a few weeks, a month, or more... see how you 2 cope with the adjustment... no marriage is perfect... but being married to someone in a cult will drive you crazy, I know that from personal experience...

What I can say is that I will not judge you for whatever decsion you make... if hubby wants to talk to someone like myself who can explain some more details to him... you know where to find me.... but you and he are both going through much emotional turmoil right now... see how much you can salvage, and how much you can't. You will change incredibly in the next few months.... see how you feel as time goes on....

Lance

yknot

Just don't fall victim to the distancer-pursuer thing.......but I agree let things cool-off (JW subject wise) since everyone processes on different timetables.

You know what is best for yall, follow your heart......we are behind you 100%

Emotionally drained

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