Messing with the sound system

Iwonder17

Anyone have any ideas that wouldn't get me arrested?

Evidently

Instead of the closing song, play Highway to Hell (AC/DC).......that should do it!

Open mind

What are your duties?

Carrier of the JW phallic symbol?

Twister of the knobs?

om

Open mind

For carriers of the ~~phallus~~ microphone:

1. If the mic is on, make sure to rustle your WT or KM against it or bang it against yourself as much as possible.

2. If the mic has a switch, "accidentally" turn it off now and then. Oops. Sorry.

3. Do the pioneer stroll. The longer you walk, the less they talk.

4. Find out what spot on your side of the KH is most susceptible to audio feedback. Point the mic heavenward, as all good phallic symbols should be, and pray for a squealing sound. You usually have to wait for the other mic to be handed to a mousey commenter and the knob twister has to crank it way up. Then the squealing kicks in if the knob twister has forgotten to kill your mic.

5. DO NOT, under any circumstances, look at cleavage. Jehober will know.

om

FlipThis

OMG; that's funny

Back in the 80's I wanted to do this: Play a regular JW song with "Paradise City" (G-n-R) dubbed in the middle.

Never did it BC I wasn't worthy of handling the sound system; BUT, was trying to figure out how to plan ahead and get the tape dubbed for one of the kids they allowed near the thing

Then I got stoned and forgot about it.....

Evidently

If your carring the mic for the WT study, during a 2 paragraph reading go to the bathroom and turn the mic on......make sure you hold it nice and low next to the toilet so the sound comes thru good!!!

Open mind

And, for the knob twisters:

1. Start the wrong song about every 2nd time you're assigned to "The Box". Or every 4th or 5th time if you want to keep your job.

This is great fun to see how many of the Greatest Singers on Earth are impossibly tone deaf. I've seen some people sing half-way through the first verse before the Box Boy restarts the music with the correct song.

2. Enjoy the silence.

(A little Depeche Mode plug there.) "Forget" to turn on the mic on a regular basis. It's best to reserve this tactic for when the biggest windbag egomaniac elder is going to comment.

3. Enjoy the feedback.

As a knob twister, you've got the power. You can make it squeal whenever you want. An average of once per meeting is good if you want to keep your job. More often if you'd like to be "counseled".

4. Enjoy the volume level.

It's good to alternate between a little too loud and a little too quiet. 5 minutes too loud. 5 minutes too quiet. You'll get anxious, irritated, dirty looks from varying members of the audience as you employ this time-tested technique. It's always best to finish off a stretch of "too quiet" with a nice squeal of feedback as people are straining to hear what Sister Shy has to say.

om

Open mind

One last idea:

Many K Halls still have Kindom Melodies on CDs. I think they're coming out with a DVD that has them all on one disc, but I'll bet lots of congos will stick with CD players for a while. But on CD, there are about seven discs and a lot of congos use a player that has a multi-CD cartridge that plugs into the player. No one EVER looks at the individual CDs. They just pop in the cartridge with multiple CDs already loaded inside. If you have access to "The Box" you could easily swap out one of the CDs with your own "home burned" CD. Just make sure it has the same number of tracks as the WT CD. Ok, that's a lot of work, but it could be done.

Just don't leave fingerprints.

om

Messing with the sound system

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