on loneliness

by purplesofa 37 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Sirona

  I agree with Trevor to some extent.

  However I don't see loneliness as being unable to spend time alone. I can do just fine spending lots of time alone.

  I think "loneliness" as a word comes up when you feel the need, in a given moment, to share things with someone....but you look around and noone is there to share it with. Or there is a particular life problem that you would like some social support with and you can't see anyone to talk to about it.

  I don't look to other people to complete me, because fundamentally my happiness is my sole responsibility and my "being OK" is a state of mind. However, being social animals we do need normal social contact or we feel there is a gap somewhere - and that is loneliness.

  Sirona
• 

  quietlyleaving

  good old wiki draws attention to the philosoplhical aspect

  [edit] As human condition

  Philosophically; the existentialist school of thought views loneliness as the essence of being human. Each human being comes into the world alone, travels through life as a separate person, and ultimately dies alone. Coping with this, accepting it, and learning how to direct our own lives with some degree of grace and satisfaction is the human condition. [4] However, other existentialist thinkers argue the opposite. Human beings might be said to actively "engage" each other and the universe as they communicate and create, and loneliness is merely the feeling of being cut off from this process.

  "Human condition" above has some interesting points to make and reminded me of how Maddie described lonliness.

  Personally I think I agree more with that definition of existentenlist.

  The problem I have with the second is that I can't see how a person could possible stay in the process described. One would have to blame oneself for being cut off. And that is the problem I have with Trevor's definition and explanation of lonliness. Taking lonliness inwards as something coming out of oneself would compound feelings of lonliness and isolation imo.

  I believe that lonliness is a generative (though often not pleasant) quality and prompts thoughtful change and/or acceptance and empathy. That sits better with me but I may be dead wrong.

  ql
• 

  tijkmo

  loneliness..is a crowded room

  full of open hearts

  turn to stone

  all together

  all alone
• 

  ninja

  every living thing on this planet dies alone....except for the passengers of my last car....they pretty well all splattered at the same time
• 

  tijkmo

  Lonely people do not make good friends because they are needy. They are look to other people for something that can only be found within themselves. They take rather than give.

  Once we can feel comfortable with our own company we have something to give to others and become better company. It is the difference between wanting a drink and needing one.

  i am not needy in company. i would rather give than take. i am only melancholy when i am on my own. in company i am funny interesting and informative. i go to movies gigs sports on my own.

  i am now not only comfortable with my own company i actually prefer it...

  ...and i have never been so lonely in all my life
• 

  Satanus

  Loneliness is the result of an ongoing unmet need of social, physical, or mental stimulation.
  
  S
• 

  IP_SEC

  Lonely people do not make good friends because they are needy. They are look to other people for something that can only be found within themselves. They take rather than give.

  Once we can feel comfortable with our own company we have something to give to others and become better company. It is the difference between wanting a drink and needing one.

  This is the biggest line of selfrighteous shit blanket statementness I've heard in a while. Dont mean to analyze you trevor but you sound afraid of something.
• 

  sweetstuff

  I think loneliness is something we all experience at times in our lives. It's when its constant and seems neverending I would think it has become a problem. I've had bouts of temporary loneliness but at the same time, I like having my alone time, I don't like feeling crowded in and constantly in the company of others, I'm very social but I need my "alone" time. However, I think it is due to other emotional disturbances that at times we feel "lonely", could be we are hurt by someone's carelessness with our feelings, or getting over a break up and missing the good parts of the relationship, or the death of one we love...I would call that type of loneliness important to our healing and progress. To not experience it is to not deal with loss or painful events.

  I've experienced moments of loneliness lately, due to a recent break-up. But for the most part, I'm quite content and happy. I like having my freedom, I like coming and going as I please. But at the same time, sometimes at night, I miss having that person to cuddle with and talk about the day..and I feel lonely, for a moment. Then I remember all the reasons I broke up with him, and it passes. I think its more a part of healing over loss than a feeling of being incomplete. I don't feel incomplete. But I have experienced loneliness in the sense of loss over something I once treasured.
• 

  catbert

  Ninja,
  
  Roberta Sparrow with a twist. Nice one.
• 

  Quandry

  Lonely people do not make good friends because they are needy. They are look to other people for something that can only be found within themselves. They take rather than give.

  We are all needy sometimes. We are social creatures and yes we do look to other people for comfort or acceptence at various times. Sometimes we give, sometimes we NEED to take.

  I don't think that makes us deficient.