Is this normal???

amama2six

I joined a few days ago thinking "Hey, maybe I will find people that I have something in common with!" I did not come here expecting what has HAPPENED to me. I am reading experiences and doctrine and suddenly getting very angry and confused. Things I didn't even realize still affected me are coming to the forefront...memories I had long ago buried are surfacing and I am entirely unprepared. I honestly thought after all these years I had finally moved on and now I am being slapped in the face with how much I have NOT moved on. Please tell me this gets better!

BabaYaga

Yes, this is quite normal.

And yes, it does get better. Much, much better.

You and I have something in common... many years out but never really faced it. The same thing happened to me... I thought I was fine, but I had been in denial for a very long time. Anger is part of the process... congratulations! You are moving on to the next step. And trust me... this one won't take as long to resolve itself.

Love,
Baba.

amama2six

Thank you! I thought I was going crazy. :embarrassed: A few minutes ago I was envisioning myself going to the KH down the road from me (literally a minute from my house) and giving some Elders a piece of my mind. I won't, of course, because I know it would get me nowhere. It was a fun thought, though. :P

HSS1971

I can attest to that. Yes it's normal. When certain subjects come up that I have had experience with, I find myself getting angry or moody. I think that it's good therapy to face these subjects rather than avoid them. By facing these subjects the healing can begin. I'm the sort of person that is prone to hold a grudge for an offense, so I really need to keep confronting my "demons", for lack of a better term, so that I can work on the forgivness part.

Yes, you are going through the normal thing. Let yourself feel it, All of us here have alot in common.

BabaYaga

For reference, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross defined the five stages of grief (and yes, of course we grieved... we lost our belief system, and some of us lost all of our friends, our families, our children, and even our jobs and our homes.)

The stages are:

1. Denial:
* Example - "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening."
2. Anger:
* Example - "Why me? It's not fair!" "NO! NO! How can you accept this!"
3. Bargaining:
* Example - "Just let me live to see my children graduate."; "I'll do anything, can't you stretch it out? A few more years."
4. Depression:
* Example - "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die . . . What's the point?"
5. Acceptance:
* Example - "It's going to be OK."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."

Interesting to finally feel anger, isn't it?

Love, Baba.

StoneWall

I wouldn't say that its abnormal
Seems like what Baba is saying may be true right now with you that you are starting to face some things that you had either suppressed or just buried and thought you wouldn't ever need to dig them up again.
Then something clicked that brought them up to the surface again and to the forefront and as has been stated now you can face them with confidence and with more knowledge than before.
Seems like your psyche is ready to take them on and going to allow you to proceed to overcome them instead of just burying them.
Or at least that is my viewpoint from my perspective. If this is the case then be ready for a gutsy ride of learning about yourself and your inner most feelings about your thoughts/beliefs/views and even your own self-perception.

Enjoy the ride,
StoneWall

amama2six

Twelve years of denial...awesome. LOL

I think I'm already between anger and bargaining...wanting to unleash my fury on some unsuspecting Elders while at the same time wanting to "bargain" an apology for the way things were handled in my situation. Wishing they could at least admit what happened wasn't right, even if they can't fully admit their beliefs are effed up. Of course I know this won't happen.

I've definitely suppressed/buried a LOT. I knew that I had because when I try to think back on my childhood I remember very little...just major good things and major bad things. The rest is a blur at best, but usually non-existent. Coming on here I am being flooded with things I had long ago "forgotten". Watching YouTube videos about JWs or ex-JWs has sparked a lot, too. Even something as simple as video of JWs singing kingdom melodies...12 years later and guess what? I still know almost all the songs word-for-word! Terms has been a rough one, too, I read the thread about JW terms and immediately felt anger. Just the terms...not any particular memories associated with them...invoked anger. What's up with that?

Argh...I have lived in denial too long, I suppose. I'm glad I can start moving on with people who understand what I'm going through, though. :)

fern

Yes it's normal. I've been out for almost 22 years and the same thing happened to me when I joined here. Sounds like we went through many of the same things as children and I feel I will always be at least a little bitter about all of it. I have fantasies about the next time the J dubs knock on my door.....they will wish they hadn't because I will invite them in and turn the tables on them and ask them some HARD questions.

Fern

fokyc

amama2six says: "Wishing they could at least admit what happened wasn't right"

I know the feeling, BUT you can be assured the elders will NEVER admit to anything being wrong

They are the most perfect of any, they can't be wrong, or so they think.

Best wishes for a speedy recovery from an awful set of experiences.

fokyc

Tired of the Hypocrisy

Like any change you make in life, you will have some good days and bad days.

I am still fading away from the Jehovah's Witness Cult and have active family in it still. Sometimes I wish I could pull out my hair and scream the real truth to them. Other days I wish the watchtower would be dissolved, and yet on other days I wish nothing more than for love and peace to cover the world.....

It's a mood thing I suppose.

Feel angry, feel happy, feel whatever you feel. It is normal to feel it all.

Is this normal???

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