do you feel posting on JWD helps or hinders your recovery? (page 3)

Junction-Guy

I will find out the story tonight at work. Has anyone heard what his motive was?

Priest73

Nope, but can imagine the therapy those kids are gunna need? And no I'm not making light of it.

kerj2leev

I would say it's needed in the beggining much like a crutch is needed to heal a wounded leg. But if used too much that same crutch can become a hindrance in the recovery process.

choosing life

Both. Helped to see there are others who felt the same way about "the truth". Hinders when I spend too much time on here instead of furthering the flesh and blood relationships I have.

cognizant dissident

I discussed this very topic with a professional counselor and he said almost word for word what H.S. said in his post.

These forums can create a false sense of intimacy that is in reality only fantasy created in one's own mind. If the person writing is honest, then at best you will know what they are thinking on a particular day and choose to share with you. This is not the same as knowing the whole person. We experience others with our five senses and our minds make interpretations and draw conclusions from there. Have you truly experienced another person if you have not seen them, not heard them, not got close enought to smell them, not touched them, not tasted them (I include taste because this way of experienceing another person is often reserved for most intimate of sexual "knowing" of a person)? You cannot be truly intimate and know another person in one dimensional forum if these other facets are missing.

You may be able to get an idea of a person's intelligence, their sense of humor, the way their logical (or illogical) thought processes work. You may get a sense of whatever personality they choose to display. Personality is also not who we really are. Personalities and roles can change over a life time. So, as H.S. said you are seeing very small, very one dimensional aspect of person, not whole.

There is nothing wrong with this, or in using attraction to people's words and thoughts as stepping stones to meeting them and getting to know better, more intimately. It is only a problem if one deludes oneself into thinking they already do know someone intimately they have never really met and build up unrealistic expectations from their perceptions (or misperceptions as the case may be).

One more thing which is more germane to question in thread topic: If we identify our selves as "ex-JW's" to other people or only to ourselves in our own minds, have we really moved on? Are we not still trapped in an identity that revolves around JW's in some way? Are we not still making them the focus of much of our life? Spending inordinate amounts of time discussing, trying to bring WTS "down", trying to convince others they are wrong, will indeed keep one from recovering balance in their lives and moving on.

If one can use this forum as source on interesting information, source of potential new contacts/friends, enjoyable way to while away a few hours in debate, discussion, or just playing a fun game like "Werewolf", then it will not hinder one's "recovery". The key is balance and moderation IMO as is true in all things.

I would like also like to challenge the idea that ex-JW's have been traumatized by being JW and have anything to "recover" from. Is it possible for an entire religious organization to traumatize us? We can be abused or traumatized by individual people, individual JW's, one or more than one but we cannot be traumatized by an entire organization of people or a belief system. Our beliefs our products of our own brains and interpretations. Consider the possibility that for many, it is something we chose to do because we thought it the best thing at the time. We may have been mistaken in our beliefs and now realize it was waste of time, but then we can just move on and that is part of life for many things, not just the JW religion. There may be nothing to "recover" from. We did it for a while, we changed our minds, we do not do it anymore. Simple as that. Not always, but maybe it could be that simple for some, if they let go of the past and allow it to be that simple.

Cog

Junction-Guy

Not always that simple. Some of us didn't choose this religion, it was forced on us. Some of us had our very life course changed because of the doctrines of this religion.

cognizant dissident

I did not say it was always that simple JG. I said it could be that simple for some if they would let go and allow it to be. I was raised as baby as a JW and had it forced (and beaten) it to me. That was traumatizing to me, so I do not speak from lack of understanding or awareness.

However, I still have a choice. Do I want to keep reliving trauma in my own mind by engaging in behaviours that encourage feeding mind on trauma, or do I want to move on and enjoy rest of my life? I choose the latter. It is simple choice, but I did not say it was easy choice. It is very difficult to actually do. Simple and easy are not the same thing.

Cog

Junction-Guy

Ok, gotcha

wha happened?

initially I thought it was hindering my ability to heal. I would posts and then it would put me in a bad mood for sometimes several days. I didn't post alot originally.

Afterwards it got me to realize that I needed help. So now I see a therapists. So I would say it helped me get to a place where I could learn to heal.

do you feel posting on JWD helps or hinders your recovery?

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