In the end, you can't believe what you don't. I pretended for a time because of things "personal". Hardest time of my life. Pretending strips away at integrity, and retards personal growth.
Kind of reminds me of what the WTS used to say about those who sin repeatedly. They'd quote the scripture about those who "come to be past all moral sense." Just as some who, for instance, are chronic adulterers may find a method of quieting their conscience as they do what they do...so too with JWs and others. You live in a world that punishes questioning and rewards compliance. You are occasionally struck by an indication that something is wrong...
But the next day's Watchtower has glorious paradisaic scenes, statistics about how the organization is growing all over the world, and your friends at the meeting are, through their comments, expressing deep belief in Watchtower teachings. (click, whirr...) You just fall in line with the group indoctrination and manipulation, and you can also "come to be past all moral sense" as you let it all cover over the constantly changing teachings, contradictory policies, history of pedophile protection, legalistic and authoritarian practices, and the sidesplitting prophetic failures.
You come to believe that things like "integrity" and "personal growth" only apply to things associated with the organization. Outside of the organization? Irrelevant.
