by karter 12 Replies latest jw experiences
I'm a born-in. No, I didn't feel special. As I spent my time sitting in a chair in the hallway at school, all alone, while my classmates enjoyed a brief birthday celebration, I didn't feel special. I felt like a freak. Still do in some ways because of the damage done by being raised a JW.
StAnn
There is nothing nice about feeling 'special' when your parents are serving where the 'need is great' and are telling you that all of your schoolmates are soon to be killed.
But....
....being 'special' was no guarantee that our killer god was going to spare me just because my parents were JWs. Any doubts or misbehavior on my part was always quickly dealt with... "You wouldn't want to displease you Heavenly Father, would you?
I felt 'special' in that I was part of a group of people that all around me thought were nutcases, but it didn't really matter because they would all be dead soon.
I had a hard time making friends with people who would be killed in the very near future... before we even left school.
Many of those possible friends are dead. Heart disease, cancer, accidents. The ones that are still around, I am reluctant to contact as I was so standoffish when I was at school with them.
They have had reunions that I have not attended.
There is nothing 'special' about being brought up a JW that makes up for the psychological damage it does to children.
Cheers
Chris
Being a JW made me feel like a total asshole (excuse my language). When I stopped going to meetings and I had elders come and visit me..they asked me why and I told them that I feel like we're unfairly putting ourselves above people. The one elders says..and I'll never forget this "Well..we are better than everybody else." I've never felt like I was ever accompishing anything being a JW. I even told my parents "What good does it do anybody?". I just can't stand the brand of self-righteousness that comes with this religion.
