yearly shepherding call from the elders

by milligal 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • milligal
    milligal

    For all those df'd people out there, you know the rumor about the annual encouraging call we are supposed to get? Well my df'd sister and I were talking and we had a couple thoughts over this. Our brother-in-law is an elder-of the regional building committee type. When my mother got ill last year and called the family together he was 'supposed' to give my sister and I our encouraging visit. However he got called away just before we arrived so he couldn't encourage us (hmmm... coincidence?).

    What I think REALLY happened is that I am marked (you know according to the elders handbook) as unworthy for a shepherding call. Since he goes to the congregation I got df'd from he would know that. My JW mom has been nagging the elders to encourage me but they never show up (haven't seen them in almost 8 years). Why don't they grow a pair and tell my mother this so she can let it go already?

    My sister also raised the question: What if WE wanted to have a little sit down chat with them once a year? Are they going to sit there respectfully and quietly and listen to what we have to say? How arrogant of them to think that they can command our attention on their whim in the first place.

    Has anyone out there actually RECEIVED a shepherding call since they have been df'd? If so, what was it like? If not, why do you think you haven't?

  • burningbridges
    burningbridges

    A@G: do they really mark you in a book about this? you ever make any sheperding calls?

  • blondie
    blondie

    Here is the official policy. If it is followed at all is that the CO checks up on them and the elders don't give only the appearance of having tried.

    *** km 8/07 p. 7 Announcements ***The elders are reminded to follow through on instructions given on pages 21-3 of the April 15, 1991, Watchtower regarding any disfellowshipped or disassociated ones who may be inclined toward becoming reinstated.

    *** w91 4/15 pp. 21-23 Imitate God’s Mercy Today ***

    Returning to Jehovah

    7

    But may the elders themselves take any initiative in approaching a disfellowshipped person? Yes. The Bible shows that mercy is expressed not simply by a negative holding back of punishment but often by positive acts. We have Jehovah’s example. Before he sent his unfaithful people into exile, he prophetically held out the prospect of their returning: "Remember these things, O Jacob, and you, O Israel, because you are my servant. . . . I will wipe out your transgressions just as with a cloud, and your sins just as with a cloud mass. Doreturntome, for I will repurchase you."—Isaiah 44:21, 22.

    8

    Then, during the exile, Jehovah took further steps, acting in a positive way. He sent prophets, his representatives, to invite Israel to ‘seek him and find him.’ (Jeremiah 29:1, 10-14) At Ezekiel 34:16, he likened himself to a shepherd and the people of the nation of Israel to lost sheep: "The lost one I shallsearchfor, and the dispersed one I shall bring back." At Jeremiah 31:10, Jehovah also used the imagery of his being a shepherd of the Israelites. No, he did not depict himself as a shepherd at the sheepfold waiting for the lost one to come back; rather, he showed himself as a shepherd searching for the lost ones. Note that even while the people in general were unrepentant and exiled, God initiated efforts to seek their return. And in line with Malachi 3:6, God would not change his way of dealing in the Christian arrangement.

    9

    Does this not suggest that there could be a reason for initiating steps toward some who are disfellowshipped and who may now be repentant? Remember that the apostle Paul gave direction to remove the wicked man from the Corinthian congregation. Later he exhorted the congregation to confirm their love toward the man because of his repentance, leading to his subsequent reinstatement in the congregation.—1 Corinthians 5:9-13; 2 Corinthians 2:5-11.

    10

    The encyclopedia quoted earlier said: ‘The basic rationale for excommunication was to protect the standards of the group: "a little leaven leavens the whole lump" (1 Cor. 5:6). This motive is clear in most biblical and extracanonical passages, but concernfortheindividual,evenafterexpulsion,wasthebasisofPaul’spleain2 Cor.2:7-10.’ (Italics ours.) Hence, concern of this kind should logically be shown today by the shepherds of the flock. (Acts 20:28; 1 Peter 5:2) Former friends and relatives might hope that a disfellowshipped one would return; yet out of respect for the command at 1 Corinthians 5:11, they do not associate with an expelled person. They leave it to the appointed shepherds to take the initiative to see if such a one is interested in returning.

    11

    It would not be fitting even for elders to take the initiative toward certain expelled ones, such as apostates, who ‘speak twisted things to draw away the disciples after themselves.’ These are ‘false teachers who are trying to bring in destructive sects and to exploit the congregation with counterfeit words.’ (Acts 20:30; 2 Peter 2:1, 3) The Bible also does not provide any basis for searching out disfellowshipped ones who are belligerent or who actively encourage wrongdoing.—2 Thessalonians 2:3; 1 Timothy 4:1; 2 John 9-11; Jude 4, 11.

    12

    However, many expelled ones are not like that. One may have ceased the serious wrongdoing for which he was disfellowshipped. Another may have been using tobacco, or he may in the past have been overdrinking, but he is not now trying to lead others into wrongdoing. Recall that even before exiled Israel turned to God, he sent representatives urging them to come back. Whether Paul or the elders in the Corinth congregation took some initiative to check on the disfellowshipped man, the Bible does not say. When that man had repented and ended his immorality, Paul directed the congregation to reinstate him.

    13

    In recent times there have been cases in which an elder happened to meet a disfellowshipped person. Where appropriate, the shepherd briefly outlined the steps to be taken for reinstatement. Some persons like this repented and were reinstated. Such joyful outcomes indicate that there may be disfellowshipped or disassociated ones who would respond to a merciful approach made by the shepherds. But how might the elders handle this matter? Once a year at most, the body of elders should consider whether there are such persons living in their territory. The elders would focus on those who have been expelled for over a year. According to the circumstances, if it is appropriate, they would assign two elders (hopefully ones familiar with the situation) to visit such an individual. No visit would be made on any who evidence a critical, dangerous attitude orwhohavemadeitknownthattheywantnohelp.—Romans 16:17, 18; 1 Timothy 1:20; 2 Timothy 2:16-18.

    14

    The two shepherds could telephone to ask about making a brief visit, or they could stop by at a suitable time. During the visit, they need not be stern or even cool but should warmly reflect their merciful concern. Instead of reviewing the past case, they could discuss Bible texts such as Isaiah 1:18 and 55:6, 7 and James 5:20. If the person is interested in returning to God’s flock, they could kindly explain what steps he should take, such as reading the Bible and publications of the Watch Tower Society and attending meetings at the Kingdom Hall.

    15

    These elders will need wisdom and discernment to determine whether there is indication of repentance and whether a follow-up visit would be advisable. They should bear in mind, of course, that some disfellowshipped persons will never be ‘revived to repentance.’ (Hebrews 6:4-6; 2 Peter 2:20-22) After the visit, the two would give a brief oral report to the Congregation Service Committee. They, in turn, would inform the body of elders at their next meeting. The elders’ merciful initiative will have reflected God’s view: "‘Return to me, and I will return to you,’ Jehovah of armies has said."—Malachi 3:7.

  • Metamorphosis
    Metamorphosis
    If the person is interested in returning to God’s flock, they could kindly explain what steps he should take, such as reading the Bible and publications of the Watch Tower Society and attending meetings at the Kingdom Hall.

    Oh- because there is definite scriptural backing that for someone to gain or demonstrate repentance they would have to be reading WT's and attending bookstudy/school/service meeting combo studies... give me a break. The disfellowshipping/re-instatement enforcement enacted by the JW's is one of the biggest flaws in them being able to claim any Christian status.

    Jeremiah

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Greetings Milligal,

    I am not expelled from the congregation but am inactive for 2 1/2 years now and haven't attended the KH in two years. I had turned in no time for six months while still attending. The circuit overseer visited and commended us for having no irregular publishers. No questions were asked about my non-hours despite being regular at meetings.

    I have received no calls from the elders in all this time nor inquiries (that I am aware of) about my well-being through active Witness family members. I continue to associate with JWs, though mostly through business connections. I have known these elders for 30-plus years.

    I thought you might find this a confirmation of sorts to your query, though you did address dfed and daed folk.

    Thanks.

    CoCo

  • milligal
    milligal

    I downloaded the elder's handbook and letters from the governing body from 1975 through 199? (I think this was from Ynot but my messages don't go back far enough to remember who gave me the link....sorry! bad memory) and I read that the committee who df's someone makes a written report of the meeting, puts it in a sealed envelope and writes on the outside if the offender is not worthy of shepherding calls. If not, the other elders do not question it they base their decision not to encourage on the decision of those who were present at the disfellowshipping.

    I am pretty convinced that I am not worthy (according to the borg). I have never made an attempt to go back, haven't attended one meeting and put up christamas lights the year after I was kicked out.

    Why don't they make this practice known? Why string along someone like my mother?

  • boyzone
    boyzone
    No visit would be made on any who evidence a critical, dangerous attitude or who have made it known that they want no help

    I guess that counts me out.

  • babygirl75
    babygirl75

    No..I've been df'd since 2001. I've never had them call or stop by. My parents and one of my sisters have even called around to three different halls in my area begging them to call on me. My sis told me the elders told them from all the halls they would contact me, that has been two years ago!!! I would just tell them to f*ck off anyway....Maybe they know this and that's why they haven't...

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    I am simply inactive (having faded) since 2005, and so far the hounders haven't visited me or attempted to call on me. And if they do try, they are going to have one miserable time trying to set up an appointment (which I will not keep)--if they attempt to visit and make the call on the spot, I will have my Christmas tree lit and some Christmas music going, pull out a Ouija board and Crisis of Conscience, and point out that the literature from the "secret" society I joined to slap them in the face is all the guidance I ever need.

  • yknot
    yknot

    My sister has been DFd for 17 years, never once has she received a shepherding call.

    I guess you could make a point of showing up when the CO is in town and make a complaint.

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