What If?

by Farkel 16 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  metatron

  At least Moslem fanatics can look forward to
  seventy virgins in their version of paradise.

  metatron
• 

  rekless

  hey ISP who would want it...not I said the Fly.
• 

  wallaby jack

  Ever tried living with a pile of women metatron? lol.
  ===

  G'day Farkel,

  I think Watchtower Island would start out a lot like New Zealand, lots of sheep, no snakes or harmfull creatures, only two television channels and everybody in bed by 8 o'clock.

  Gradually the shadow of the towermen would creep over the New System and the governing busy bodies would crank up the paranoia till, in comparison, the animal farm of North korea would look like a freewheeling democracy.

  There was a good essay about this on Randy's freeminds site. I think it was called "the day after Armageddon."

  ***
  Some of these questions have an air of retoric about them Bro.Farkel but I'll do my best to be objective...

  If the WTS was able to have its own Country here in earth, would it:
  1) Forbid the preaching of any other religion?

  Certainly! (said in my best three stooge Curly joe accent)

  2) Execute anyone who questioned its authority?

  mmm i think Friend said we could ask questions but in a respectfull, theocratic manner or something. (they'd provide the appropriate form at the back of the one-way Kingdom Pasport)

  3) Condemn and then stop all scientific and medical research?

  No true science is OK. (Brother Yadirf's research into the mating habits of bloodhounds can continue but as long as he doesn't watch)

  4) Vilify advanced education and intelligensia?

  Wots them things?

  5) Make all woman become second class citizens and severely punish those who spoke out?

  Second class? I thought that was for Camels? Didn't Job get his Camels back first? I'm not against punishing women as long as they enjoy it.

  6) Use "Theocratic Warfare" to lie to visitors to their Country about its welfare and the freedoms of its citizens?

  Yeah well, they wouldn't want to scare potential sheep away with a tour of the shearing sheds and saucage factory.

  7) Due to its stance against education, force its citizens to revert to an agrarian society?

  big dic time .. mm lets see .. agony, agorilla, agrocop, agrarian .. right yeah poor bastards living on fresh apricots and sweet buttered corn and romping in the hay with willing maidens .. that's no life for an uneducated god botherer.

  8) Preach HATE of all other belief systems and vow that through God, all those who disagree with their beliefs will be executed?

  "Hate what (we say) is bad" will be written on the barn just below "all publishers were created equal"

  9) Strictly control dress habits, especially woman's dressing habits?

  Lock women up and keep the key i say! You know women bro Farkel, one wiff of a new fabric and they've got us worn out building silk roads and great walls of china.

  10) Strictly control grooming habits and allow itself and only itself to determine whether say, men can have beards or not, and severely punish those who violate their rules?

  Grooming habits will send you blind and beards can be a fire hazard.

  11) Strictly control what entertainment is allowed and what isn't, including what music can be heard, what movies can be watched, and what books can be read?

  Whats wrong with the entertainment Jehovah provides? Aren't theocratic songs, sex, sin and sunsets good enough for ya?!

  12) Provide education for children that is almost entirely limited to the reading of WTS publications and the holy book it is supposed to explain?

  Halleluya!

  13) Give out frequent religious edicts that must be followed, or else?

  Variations in the law code are all that stand between average JWs and atrophy by boredom. Jehovahs Witnesses wet themselves with news of the slightest cosmetic change in WBTS policy. (almost as much as some apostates ;)

  14) Take away the freedom of its citizens to own property and to engage in a free enterprise of their choice?

  You can do whatever you like as long as you don't get caught or have the righteous connections.

  15) Proclaim throughout the Country that their God is a "god of armies" and a "God of War," and then procede to destroy all religious artifacts of people who differ with them and give people the option of joining them or facing annihilation?

  Yeah well those Tikis give me the shits anyhow!

  If they could do this, do you think they WOULD do this? Now let's see, who was I talking about, again? The WTS? Or the Taliban? I forgot. Oh, well, I don't see the any important difference between the two. Do you?

  Taliban? Those whimps? What would they know about keeping millions in bondage for decade after mind numbingly boring decade?

  unclebruce

  PS: Brother Farkel, please forgive my flippant short answers, I used your post for corrective psychology (i desperately needed a word ass test ;)

  "When in doubt, dunk!" Pastor Russell.

  ===

  Celia: Where's Focus when we need him? I haven't 'the list' handy but think the 'theocratic warefare' quote you're looking for was published in the mid 1950's. Someone with a CD rohm should be able to retreive it.

  cheers, unc.
• 

  Farkel

  G'Day Cheeky Galah,

  : When in doubt, dunk!" Pastor Russell.

  "When in doubt, drink!" - Joseph Drunklin' Rutherford

  "When in doubt, disfellowship!" - Nathan Homo Knorr

  "When in doubt, change doctrine!" - Fredrick Weirdo Franz

  "When in doubt, go to Malta and live like a King!" - Milton Greedy Henschel

  "When in doubt, lie out your ass and blame everyone else!" - Current living DipFuck GB members and their criminal associates.

  Farkel

  "When in doubt, duck!"
• 

  momoftwo

  Well, let's see....

  It would be a very clean country, or at least one would hope (I'd hate to see all the cleaning supplies go to waste)...

  It would be a country full of illterate, uneducated hillbillies...

  It would be a country full of very (I mean very) boring sex...did I say that?

  mom
• 

  Yerusalyim

  Did ya mention the fact that due to them demonz yard sales would be prohibited?

  YERUSALYIM
  "Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
  [Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"]
• 

  patio34

  Hi Farkel,

  Don't forget banned books and book burnings!

  And, at 1st I thought "no" to your post because of the NT writings. But then the WTS uses what parts of the OT that they want to, don't they? Such as 'you must hate them with an intense loathing.'

  As Missie Eff states, you've given us a glimpse of the mythical New System, haven't you?

  Cheers!
  Pat