Waiting for my judicial meeting - or not

by BonaFide 21 Replies latest jw friends

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  BonaFide

  Not sure if so many are still on here, I am feeling kinda lost.

  Anyway, Saturday came and went and Tuesday came and went and no judicial meeting with me. The elders just sort of avoided me and didn't let me comment at the WT.

  I am not sure if they are having a hard time getting a second witness against me or what.

  It has to be the worst feeling in the world though, waiting and waiting to see what day they will say is the "meeting." My life-long friends that I preach with each week no longer call me, they used to bug me to join them in service all the time. Now nothing.

  Same with parties, no more invites.

  My friend is getting married in a couple of weeks and he received an email from someone saying not to have me in his wedding as an assistant or attendant or whatever. He said people are saying I am being dealt with right now and I can't help in any capacity. He said he is worried about me.

  My mom won't invite me over for dinner with the family anymore. I live alone, and we used to have big family dinners at my mom's house. Now she calls me, then hands me food at her front door, so I don't go inside.

  The only Witness that calls me other than my girlfriend is a girl who says she wants to fool around a little because who knows, I might be disfellowshipped anyway in a few weeks, might as well have fun. Its weird because she just went to pioneer school last week. I told her I already like another sister, but she insists it will be fun. I hung up on her last time she called.

  But everyone else is cutting me off slowly.

  I never realized how terrible it is for people in this situation.

  I wish I knew what is happening.

  BF
• 

  insearchoftruth

  Good Luck BF!

  there are a few still here, a bunch have gone over to the jw support forum as well.

  ISOT
• 

  karter

  B .F It's the start of a new begining start planing a new life outside the WTS NOW once your gone you will be quickly forgotten. Stick around here were here to help
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  Awakened at Gilead

  Being on the receiving end of a JC is not easy.. most self-righteous elders have never experienced the mental anguish that comes from a meeting with the elders...

  Come on over to JWR if you want: http://www.jehovahswitnessrecovery.com/phpBB3/index.php

  Sounds like you need some recovery and help.

  Lance
• 

  yknot

  You have been marked.

  Welcome to my world..... the only difference is when I went through the bulk of it when I was 7yrs -25yrs.

  Almost total social alienation, by both JWs and worldly.

  Yea it sucks big time, but you will survive.

  I would strongly suggest you contact your parents and plead with them for advice. Let them see you are 'trying', that this shunning might do more harm then good. Ask why you are being treated this way when you haven't been convicted of any wrongdoing. Cry,cry a lot, tears demonstrate much more then words.....esp from a man.

  The worst thing that will happen is that you will be forced out like thousands of countless others on this board. It is sad, very sad but again survivable.

  I have some more questions but will PM you instead.
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  Octarine Prince

  The pioneer sister is most likely trying to set you up. Badger game/honey trap. Don't fall for it.
  
  Move ahead with your life. You are no longer golden Gilead boy, but a dangerous influence. They don't want you any longer.
  
  We (exJWs) welcome you. Cookies and punch to your left.
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  StoneWall

  I'm right the oposite to Yknot.
  I would never cry and give them the satisfaction of seeing you grovel at their feet and making them think your life is so shallow and meaningless without the Org.
  But to each their own . You are ultimately the one who has to make the decision and live with the consequences. I have more integrity and self-worth than to let someone judge me by their self-righteous standards. They don't want to talk to me, good riddance.
  

  My suggestion in short term for now tho is immediately go out and start making friends and acquaintances with others outside the org. If you have any family (cousins,aunts,uncles etc.) that are not in Org then try to get to know them better as well. AS they say hope for the best but prepare for the worst. From this point on try to be your own person and experience life to the full.
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  MissingLink

  What's left to lose BF? Just walk away.
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  yknot

  Stonewall,

  The cry comment was to his mommy so he can have dinner with the family...... most mom's melt at tears and pleas for help. It is biological to want to comfort your child regardless of age.

  As far as the borg.... go out on your own terms is my attitude.

  Some like the blaze of glory, some rather leave quietly.

  I left on negotiated terms, not the best but I got what I wanted and they got what they wanted.
• 

  AnneB

  I wish I knew what is happening.

  It's quite obvious what is happening; you are about to be disfellowshipped! You wouldn't have been "marked" if the elders thought you were innocent.

  If you have any pictures, papers, personal posessions, outstanding loans, etc. that you hope to collect back from any JW, start right now to retreive or collect.

  If you share any storage locker, lockbox, or other facility with family or a JW, move your things out, no matter how inconvenient this may prove to be.

  If you share a bank account or other financial arrangement (credit card, health insurance, life insurance, etc.) remove any funds belonging to you immediately. Remove other names from any account that you control, remove your name from any account controlled by another person.

  If you have anything that belongs to a JW give it back immediately.

  If you have keys or other access to anything (buildings, vehicles, etc.) owned by a family member or by another JW, return the items through a neutral third party such as an attorney or, if you have no one else, through the community relations department of the local Police station.

  Change the locks on your house if you have ever, at any time, given a key to family or JW friend.

  Give written notice to your landlord that no one has permission from you to access your dwelling or remove anything of yours from the property.

  Buy window locks, sliding door locks, garage door locks, etc. and use them 100% of the time.

  If you don't have either voicemail or an answering machine, set one up now.

  Keep in mind that these people are no longer your friends; they're already proving that by their actions.

  Breaking with WT/JW's is a lot like ending a marriage or any other contract, only it's guaranteed that JW's won't stay friendly with you!