What an excellent thread. :) One of the things I did "right" while "in" was to encourage my children to pursue higher education. I was born-in and always struggled to blend; being a JW was not a good fit for me, and I did not want my daughter's to live my life. One daughter is a senior financial analyst for Amazon.com and the other just graduated law school and will be working for the San Diego prosecutors office.
When they loosened the rules in the 1990s, I obtained an associate's degree, and I obtained work as a paralegal. It is amazing how much my income increased with that piece of paper. After my daughters' educational needs were taken care of, I then went back to school.
Just this month, I obtained my bachelor's degree. In addition, this fall I will be attending law school.
Taking the LSAT at 50 years of age and openly and actively competing against 20-nothing year olds for a law school seat was intimidating; the LSAT and the MCAT are, by design, mind altering tests. But I more than held my own. :) I was accepted to several law schools, and the school I am attending offered me a half-ride scholarship ($16,000 per year).
I think pursuing education made my split with JWs incredibly easy. I walked out of a KH and into a classroom...didn't miss a beat or spend any time bemoaning the 'wasted years.' My best recommendation is to not look back. You absolutely cannot get those years back; they are gone. All you can do is make better use of your future years.