If you are going to disassociate yourself anyway, go ahead and speak with one of the local elders. Ask him your questions so that you can be sure of whatever you decide. Pray to Jehovah and ask for his guidance. Also talk with your kids about it, tell them your plans and then listen. I'm sure they care and love you very much and will give you some guidance.
Disassociated
by LB 25 Replies latest jw friends
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moman
LB, look in the mirror & ask that person looking back at you these questions:
#1) How many years do I have to live? (lets say its 20 approx)
#2) How do I want to live them?
#3) Do I want to live them az a sheep under "mind-control" being brain-washed by a corporation?
#4) Do I want myself & my loved ones to view life in a unhappy way, through a MORBID,DREADFULL,SICK & FEARFULL pair of glasses?
#5) Last question to ask yourself...WHAT WOULD IT FEEL LIKE TO BE FREE?
If you do this,that iz, ask these questions to yourself, your answer will come like a rush of clean air!
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willy_think
hi LB,
i'm with yoyomama on this. like he said, Ask your questions so that you can be sure of whatever you decide but only if you are going to DA yourself anyway. the rong questions will get you a DF. -
ianao
YoYoMama is right. You should at least give the society one more chance to convince you to stay under their power. They deserve it after they've let you lean on them like a crutch for x amount of years. (Despite what they taught you of "necessary crutches".)
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momoftwo
I am not DA'd nor DF'd, I just "drifted away." Personally, I no longer consider myself part of that organization, so I don't worry about how I'm classified there. My mother, on the other hand, would like to DA herself once her mother (an active JW) passes away, because she fears the connotation that DF has. But it's a personal matter. Even though it's hard to walk away from people you've known your whole life, I don't consider them "true" friend and thus do not care how they choose to classify me.
I guess I am one of the fortunate ones; once I stopped going to meetings I never heard from anyone again. And yes, I celebrate all the holidays (my house is decked out to a "T"). I believe that once you leave the org you have to decide how YOU feel and let that decide.
mom
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alliwannadoislive
hey lb
almost the exact same question i asked these good folk here a coupla weeks ago
i have almost decided not to da - mulan and jolebare put it more eloquently, but essentially - you'd be playing 'their game to their rules' - so i have more or less taken this advice and continue to stroll down the 'fading away' track
the other thing is, the more i think about it and the more i talk about it - the more i realise that the watchtower holds no truths - at least no more so than any other religion
summary - stay here with us
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Yerusalyim
LB
If you're tired of all the rules, why follow the rules they have set up? I think the only time I favor an official DA letter is when it MIGHT have an impact, say an active Witness who is scandalized. For folks like you who were smart enough to drift away, there is no real need for a DA letter. It only shows them that you are still willing to let them decide the rules of the game. If the kids will NOT be a problem, then IF they bring it up show them the "Those who simply cease to be involved..." That's you. A judicial committee has no authority because you've simply CEASED TO BE INVOLVED.
Were you for some reason to want to become an active Witness again you could, under guidance and discipline of the Elder Body.
YERUSALYIM
"Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
[Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"] -
ISP
LB....if you have been out of it for three years etc. you may be able to continue your drift. I have known quite a few that have drifted and because they are not associating the elders have not taken any judicial action. Some have though...so it depends on the prevailing attitude of your elders. I think you are better to drift etc.
ISP
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Nowfree
I stopped attending meetings in Oct 00. This year I have been celebrating birthdays, and am planning a wonderful Christmas. (the tree goes up this weekend - Hurrah!!).
I haven't heard from the elders for a year - they haven't attempted to see me or talk to me. I am not DA or DF.
However, JWs do shun me - so they obviously don't know their own policy. But what the heck - like I need their phony friendship anyway!!
Nowfree
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Frenchy
Marilyn is correct in that being da’d and df’d are one and the same. The procedure for re-instatement is the same. A word of warning. What you tell the elders will be put in writing and sealed in an envelope with the committee’s names on the front, who served as chairman, the date, your name and the action taken against you. The Society will be sent a form (S77) with a brief summary of what happened at the meeting. If you should ever want to get back in, you will have to demonstrate that you are no longer of the mindset that prompted you to DA yourself. The original committee (if at all possible) will have to meet with a committee from your new congregation.
Don’t you believe what is posted on the Society’s official web site. That’s PR crap and it’s not what happens. You can write letters to newspapers until you turn blue in the face. It will not phase them in the least. Paulvarjak’s words of caution should be heeded. You will indeed be viewed with great suspicion.
“It's safe to say that after being inactive for 3 years or so... they'll leave you alone.” JBEAN. While this may be generally true it’s not always the case. Some C.O.’s come in with guns blazing and want to ‘purge’ the congregation by going on a witch hunt. If you’re not particularly liked, you could very well come under the gun.
Remember that if you talk to one of the elders that he is obliged to go to the others with what you have told him. The elders ‘work’ for the Society. Never make the mistake of thinking differently. Mikepence makes a good point in that even if your children want to associate with you afterwards, what will become of them if one day one of the elders drops by for a shepherding call and sees you sitting there eating dinner with them? They will come under the gun at that time. How will they handle this?
Take you time with this. Don’t be too quick to burn your bridges.