by Witness 007 52 Replies latest jw experiences
Of course I'd be remiss if I didn't add, you never actually 'dated' your first wife if you did it the time-honored, chaperoned at every turn, JW method.
So this is your chance to get to know someone without a script that asks and answers, "What are your intentions?" This isn't a Nasa contract, it's just dinner and a movie. Don't sweat it, you'll do fine. I did.
"But Brother So-and-So, It's only pre-marital sex if you're planning on getting married. I was just having plain old SEX."
OMG that is so funny!
I guarantee you several younger Elders are gonna appreciate that joke sooo much at our assembly this weekend.
Yknot, any humor in the life of those Poor things makes me smile.
I talk to an ex-JW boyfriend a couple of times a year. He and I almost got married. He still has his head up the WBTS's behind. He turned 40 this year. Really? 40 years of depriving yourself of sex? To prove what? My husband's like, HUH?
He's an Elder, so he 'should' be happy, but he's not. I feel bad for the guy. He's always trying to get me to send him pictures.
10th Date? Here are the rules: Don't get married. No other advice is necessary.
Enjoy it. Get some oral. Chase some tail. Wear condoms. If you're more into relationships do e-harmony.
Ok this is a bit better than the other thread I just read. I think you want to first be at peace with yourself, if you are not enough without someone you will never be enough with them either. I’d suggest you go first onto your own journey of self-discovery, enrol into something that will challenge you like martial arts, sky diving, fast-water rafting etc and in the process learn enjoying being in your own skin.
Believe me it shows on miles if you are uncomfortable in it. As for sex, it will come so naturally you will wonder what happened first time. Ladies are human beings too with the same needs, but they want to feel safe and protected too and if you’re a bit unsure of yourself and who you are, it will surface before you’re even aware of it, you can’t fake it and then forget about sex lol.
Don’t say things to impress her, say something because it is interesting. And don’t forget the power of silence either, sometimes it is good to just shut up and let her speak, you don’t have to fill every free spot when she stops to breathe in. Just relax, this is not a field service, you have no one to report to but to yourself.
Gary buss coments about "taking care of the old dog and not needing a new one".......my old Dog Bites the hand that feeds it all the time....she's mean and nasty and a very selfish, self-centred dog who loves to eat thru ALL our money on her grooming......I need a Poodle not a Pitbull!!
First off, you've just split with your wife and you're hurting. Chuck yourself at the singles market out there and you're gonna take a battering mate. Can you take all that hurt all at once?
I'd cool off for a while, regroup, re-discover yourself and be happy in your own skin and then start dating.
No woman in her right mind is going to want to touch you with a bargepole as you are now, you're on the rebound, you know that and they know that and they are not going to want to date you knowing that you'll soon be moving on again.
Once you are ready to start dating again though remember one thing. If you have been brought up in the truth you have 34 years of experience in talking absolute bollocks to strangers. You can knock on a strangers door, talk about anything, engage them in conversation, manipulate them, charm them, win them around to your way of thinking. If you can do that to place a magazine then you can do that in a bar or club, only the idea now isn't to place a mag. Thats the one good thing that i took away from the truth, that ability to be able to talk to anyone and that lack of fear of rejection.
Oh and from personal experience, aussie girls are easy
lol
Marriage is like a job . . . if you quit early, you loose you're retirement plan.
Look, Witness -
First of all, the many who have told you to take a time-out on the dating and mating thing here are dead right. No offense, but you have posted here as one of the most anguished and disturbed cases of a marriage breakup that I have ever seen. Until you get truly separated from this woman (and I mean really clear of her) you are just doing yourself and any new woman a great disservice.
Secondly, when the time comes, if you can get mentally free from this mess - you will find that dating and relationships become easier to accomplish (not harder - not at all) as you pass through middle age and upper middle age, and on up. There are many single women out there past 40, past 50, and up who are happy to meet you. They probably have stable careers, domestic arrangements, and lives of their own. They have much less demanding expectations than the 18 to 27 year old group who just want to make a nest and have babies at any cost.
Third, I am speaking from experience. The best relationships come along when you are not trying to make one. If you are right in your own single skin, they will just happen. It is not logical for many people to realize this, but it is true.
