by compound complex 10 Replies latest jw friends
Try to avoid truthful phrases like "freaky mind-control cult". They don't like that sort of thing.
My main concern is the kids. If I have to hurt people's feelings to protect my kids, then that's what I gotta do.
But I understand what you're saying. It'd be nice to "soften the blow" to those who don't seem to have a chance of getting out themselves. Only thing I know is to let them see that you're happy with your new life, not "struggling in spiritual darkness" like they're told.
CoCo,
This is a sad subject. I sure don't want to add to their sadness.
I sort of wing it, but being fully confident, happy and in control seems confusing to some and doesn't allow for an opening to start much discussion. I am mostly careful with the elderly mother, who I do not want to worry more. She is already so concerned, she tries everyway to figure out how to encourage me, the paradise, how much Jah loves us...it gets to me a little, and it's hard to know what to say. I don't do very well there. So lately I let her talk, take my mind elsewhere, and sort of blunder through somehow. She means well, and she doesn't have long to live...I cannot hurt her.
With my PO brother or other close friends who are more likely to engage discussion, again being happy and confident, talking about things that are going os sort of difuses the attempt. I can see their frustration. If it looks like a convo is inevitable, I for one thing acknowledge their concern and tell them I understand.
I don't think they can be too reassured if they are fully entrenched in the cult. I emphasize my right to have a journey sometimes. Sometimes I bring up feeling like crap at the hall, and realize through my personal study, people are not supposed to be treated like crap. Sometimes I say I cannot abide by their treatment of people, marking, shunning for thoughts for having a question...I usually say "I just can't be that mean to people."
I think there are some other things...but mostly, living well is the best reassurance. Most JW's I know that have a decent life, are still very very stressed by the "theocratic routine." They sure would like a break. I would love for them to see there is a good life outside.
xoxoxox
Dag
You always make thoughtful threads that consider others Co co :) i agree with other thread answers just be nice and especially with older ones,
My sister left the JWs feeling a lot of bitterness over it. She developed a massive defensiveness over it so when after some time we had a family gathering and her grandad (still fulltime Jw) she felt he would have a go at her and built it up in her own mind the result was as soon as he said hello she laid into him, afterwards she said and actually saw it as defending herself against his verbal attacks, but my brother tim (whose never been a witness) had been taping the kids on video and caught the whole conversation and showed my sister it a few weeks later and she realised that it was quite the opposite she had laid into grandad who had been bewildered by her words, hes getting on a bit 80+ now, and the moral of this tale is....that we have to remember witnesses are just people and not to allow hurts and past deeds to cloud our judgement,
I have to say you Co co don't need telling this you seem a sincerely kind person who thinks of others and sees people as individuals,
JW Friendly responses
1. Speak theocrateses to them, making them feel safe because you know what is going on in the borg.... your out but still close.
2. Change the subject to a current WT topic
3. Tell them you are 'running ahead', but you have put faith in Jehovah's hands.
4. OR the all time favorite "I can't really talk about it.... I am waiting on Jehovah"
If I am feeling naughty...........or don't wanna have a deep conversation...
I usually ask if the Israelite's leaders chose to follow their own wisdom, forsaking Jehovah. Once the person admits yes, I ask the do you really think some men up in NY aren't capable of the same...... especially being this far from perfection?..... sigh...saying "I feel safer in the mountains right now."
and DITTO Baba's response.
If it gets ugly...... Jesus was called an Apostate too, for not following an organization/nation that God had once appointed
it is a difficult thing to read the pain in their expressions,
knowing they fear us lost to death if there is not a return
to the fold....
i agree that it is best to let them say their piece
but for my own part i also make it clear we are
functioning better as a family unit that we had for years
within the morbid doomsday atmosphere of the b0rg.....
i believe i will co opt the use of the line:
if it is jehovah's will, i will be back....
(such a dodge!! )
Thank you, dear friends, for your wonderful comments and one humorous reply.
OUTLAW, do you get out much?
After hugging them and telling them you love them, you can also add that you have not moved, they have your address and phone number (on them or in the phone book), and you remember giving them your e-mail address a while back.
When possible, letting them know, kindly and with respect, that we're really just fine; but that there are conversations we can't have. I don't have many opportunities to do so though.
I suggest we go to a movie or out to eat or come over to the house to watch a sporting event, After all we didn't see them only at the meetings, eh? I have had some go out to eat and socialize.
Thank you, WD, Sass, Blondie and jgnat:
s for you ladies!
Gratefully,
CoCo
