Actually, the official position of the WTS is that inactive jws are not to be treated like they are df'd. It sounds like your BIL is making this a personal choice.
*** w04 5/1 pp. 21-22 pars. 13-16 Strengthen One Another ***
13
At times, the pressures of life or other difficulties can cause some to slow down or become inactive in the field service. (Mark 4:18, 19) We may not see inactive ones at congregation meetings. Yet, they likely still have a love of God in their heart. What can be done to strengthen their faith? The elders can offer kind assistance by visiting them. (Acts 20:35) Other congregation members may be asked to assist too. Such loving visits can be just the right medicine, as it were, to revive those weak in faith.
14
The Bible exhorts us to "speak consolingly to the depressed souls, support the weak." (1 Thessalonians 5:14) Perhaps those "depressed souls" find that their courage is giving out and that they cannot surmount the obstacles facing them without a helping hand. Can you offer that helping hand? The expression "support the weak" has been rendered "to hold fast" or "to cleave to" the weak. Jehovah cherishes and loves all his sheep. He does not view them as of little worth, and he does not wish any to drift away. Can you help the congregation "to hold fast" to the spiritually weak until they are stronger?—Hebrews 2:1.
15
One elder visited a married couple who had been inactive for six years. The elder writes: "The kind and loving concern displayed toward them by the entirecongregation had such a tremendous impact that it moved them to return to the flock." How did the once inactive sister feel about visits by congregation members? She now says: "What helped us to become active again was that neither the brothers who visited us nor the sisters who accompanied them ever showed a judgmental or critical attitude toward us. Rather, they were understanding and provided Scriptural encouragement."
16
Yes, a sincere Christian delights to be a strengthening aid to others. And as circumstances change in our lives, we ourselves may be the recipient of strengthening acts by our brothers. Realistically, though, it is possible that in a time of need, no human aid will be available. Nevertheless, there is one Source of strength who is always available, one who is always willing to help—Jehovah God.—Psalm 27:10.
*** km 2/07 p. 8 Do Not Forget Those Who Are Inactive ***
1
Are you acquainted with anyone who has become inactive? Perhaps he has stopped associating with the congregation and has drifted away. You may have contacted such a person while engaging in the house-to-house ministry. We must keep in mind that the individual continues to be our spiritual brother. We want to confirm our love for him and help him to return to the congregation and to ‘the shepherd and overseer of our souls.’—1 Pet. 2:25.
2
Demonstrate Interest: A brief telephone call or visit may assure one who has become inactive that we have not forgotten him. What could we say? We may be encouraging by simply letting the person know that we were thinking of him. Keep the conversation positive and upbuilding. (Phil. 4:8) We might mention a point that we enjoyed from a recent meeting. We could also invite him to an upcoming meeting or assembly and offer to save him a seat or provide transportation.
3
A sister who had been inactive for more than 20 years was found in the territory. Although she was unwilling to accept a Bible study, the sister who found her called back, leaving the current magazines. After the district convention, the publisher shared some convention highlights with the inactive sister, and eventually she was reactivated.
4
When Someone Returns: When an inactive brother begins coming back to the meetings, how should we treat him? Well, how did Jesus treat his disciples after they had temporarily abandoned him? He warmly referred to them as his "brothers" and showed confidence in them. He even gave them an important assignment. (Matt. 28:10, 18, 19) Shortly thereafter, they were busy declaring the good news "without letup."—Acts 5:42.
5
Before offering to study the Bible with someone who has become inactive or before inviting a brother who has been inactive a long time to accompany us in the ministry, we should seek direction from the elders. If we come across an inactive publisher in the territory, we should inform the elders so that they can render needed assistance.
6
As the Bible clearly shows, only those who run the course to the finish will receive salvation. (Matt. 24:13) Therefore, take note of those who may have stumbled or drifted away. If we patiently reflect Jehovah’s love by demonstrating sincere interest in such ones, we may experience the joy of seeing them resume their sacred service alongside us.—Luke 15:4-10.
