How Do You Deal With Elders?

by minimus 38 Replies latest jw friends

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  minimus

  If an elder or elders demanded that they wanted to talk to you, what would you do?

  If the elders began "questioning" you, how would you deal with them?
• 

  FreudianSlip

  I'd go talk to them. I would be too curious not to.
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  iloowy

  I wrote them and the CO a letter saying I wouldn't be attending any secret meetings behind closed doors. If they had something to tell me or ask me I wanted it in writing and at least a week in advance for the purpose of giving the reading enough time for me to research the question and provide a thought out answer. Whenever approached I reminded them that I wanted it all in writing and not through coercive and intimidating lectures. The CO was pissed won't even say hi or look in my direction. The PO gave a local needs against me. But so far nothing in writing. Other elders treat me like always and I know three of them are actually giddy with glee that I'm telling the CO and PO to back off the private counsel and put everything in writing... The deal is that the WT Society's instructions explicitly warn elders not to put things in writing. It's a Catch-22 in your favor if you don't have something serious they can hold against you.
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  minimus

  I like the writing thing!
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  OUTLAW

  Simply tell them..To go away and not to bother you again..........Worked for me..LOL!!..................OUTLAW
• 

  minimus

  I haven't been approached yet by elders to ask me for a sitdown. I wouldn't recognize their "authority".
• 

  yknot

  I assess the need.....

  If it is light hearted ...then I talk in the parking lot

  If it is serious, then I suggest we get to the point quickly in the backroom and do it by the book. (read- I reserve the right to use theocratic strategy (as per the book says) at my leisure, as none of the Elders in my KH are truly 'entitled' to know anything above their very bottom of the pyramid station in life).

  If it appears more time is needed I will adjourn the backroom meeting and reschedule at a time of my choosing.

  I try to make them uncomfortable in all serious meetings. This way there are very few serious meetings.

  Men really don't like dealing with women if they are too direct or become weeping waterfalls.
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  fokyc

  With great difficulty, they just can't stop lying about everything they can't cope with,

  then they go away to re-group, saying they will return, without any intention of ever answering the actual problem.

  They are typical Ostrich types, just bury their heads in the sand

  I just wait for them to come, I never invite them, they just turn up.

  fokyc
• 

  undercover

  I don't really see it ever happening at this point, but if the elders requested an audience with me...as in a JC meeting or similar...I'd decline the invitation. If they want to talk to me, they can make an appointment to come to my home and I might spend some time with them, depending on the subject and attitude.

  If they just showed up at the door one Saturday, I'd ask them to call first and make an appointment...I'm busy right now.

  The only authority they have is what you give them. Always keep the upper hand. I don't owe them an explanation or a reason for anything I do. If I ever do decide to talk with them, it will be on my terms. Any subject raised that I consider taboo will end the discussion right then and there. Any accusations of wrongdoing or apostate activities will also end the discussion. My name may still be on a list somewhere, but I've walked away and not bothered anyone...don't bother me in return.
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  minimus

  Bad attitude, Undercover!