Bump...
What Makes a Person Vulnerable to Join a Cult ? By Steve Hassan
by flipper 45 Replies latest jw friends
-
flipper
Noticed this had been bumped a few months ago. BTTT for nebies or anybody who wants to read it. Peace out, mr. Flipper
-
NoRegrets
Thanks for bumping this as I had missed it in the past! And thanks for being you Flipper!
As far as the topic goes, I was a born-in, so I ended up in the cult by no choice of my own. In retrospect, I know for a fact that my mind was sculpted in a manner that simply didn't allow it to go certain places. I feel that it was in a numbed state where I didn't really feel a lot of highs or lows. I NEVER felt aware of God, or had any real convictions, so the strategy of keeping a follower from doing much critical thinking I think backfired.
As soon as my wife (also a born-in) and I got out on our own, we got spotty in our meeting attendance and field service. It only got worse as time went on, yet we still never really made a mental connection why it wasn't our priority for many years! We went through the motions and would still feel guilt, especially after hints dropped by our family or after an assembly or convention pump-fest. Yet, we would go right back to an erratic routine.
What finally did it for me (and at least partly for my wife) was when my sister stopped being a witness. She was a few years older and had been a pretty zealous witness. When she had some serious marital problems, she abruptly stopped all spiritual activities. I understood completely that she was emotionally vulnerable and needed all the help she could get! When all of her "so-called" friends and family began washing their hands of her so quickly (despite the fact she was neither DFed or DAed) I was outraged! That was when she needed help the most! And the language was slippery enough that I didn't see it clear-cut that you would shun a person who showed weakness or who had fallen away! In fact, the only place I really found it clearly and in black and white was in the elders' secret manual, which I of course didn't have access to at the time!
It took me months and months, and a lot of searching, questioning, and wondering to finally figure out where the real evil sprouted from and that I could no longer condone what they mandated! Not even with my minimal spiritual routine! I could no longer be a warm body in a chair bolstering their statistics and perpetuating the WT's sense of self-righteous! Never again, and we have never looked back, and never doubted for a minute that listening to our doubts and getting out was the right thing to do!
Happy Saturday to All of YOU!!!
-
flipper
Saw this old thread had been bumped up, wanted to reply.
NO REGRETS- Thanks for replying, my apologies for not responding as I didn't know this thread had been bumped up . Thanks for sharing your experience of you and your wife. It really is amazing how even if you are not DFed - former friends who are JW's will throw you under the bus like your JW sisters friends did to her. Just when you are going through tough times is when you really need support- and you get ZERO support. That happened to me 10 years ago when I stopped attending. The only ones who supported me were my then 18 yr.old inactive son and my two older JW parents. Nobody else. It's a lonely feeling. So the pressure is put on a person to RETURN or COME BACK because - where else will they go- like the old expression ? Well- I've found lots of unconditional more authentic friends outside the JW cult. I'm sure you and your wife ave by now as well. Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
-
satinka
<--- Born in. I figure that one has got to be the hardest because it's all I ever knew. Until I left, of course and began to discover all the things I wanted to do all my life, but never got the chance. Anything I wanted to do (like art and dance) I was told by my parents that I had to wait until the "new order" and there was much work to do before then! It was awful putting off my life until ... until ... until ... the time that never NEVER arrived.
But, I'm doing it now!
satinka
-
flipper
SATINKA- I'm so glad to hear that you are pursuing your interests that you never had time to pursue as a JW. Me too. I love playing music and I'm diving in full tilt now. This JW cult robbed many of us from wonderful pursuits we could have- but no more. Good for us