When I was 5 my dad told me that if the concentration camp commander put a gun to my head and told my father he had to choose between worshipping Jehovah and my life, then he would have to let them shoot me!
If he had lived a few years back, I suppose he would have sacrified you to Molech without thinking twice. Molech liked the flesh of young children. Bet you would have grown up a well behaved bedwetting child if you were threatened with being eaten by Molech all the time! These gods have always been a mindf*** haven't they? jehovah-jihad is no different.
This is why I believe these "gods" were the evil angels that fell. They have done nothing but manipulate with fear and terror. They have brought hell to earth.
I don't believe Jesus is any relation to this jehovah god. I think the Hebrews made a pact with these angel-gods (the rainbow covenant has nothing to do with the rainbow you see after a rain. "Rainbow" describes the aura of these wicked angels) These angel gods dictated rules and even the slightest infraction (i.e. the "look of lust becomes the act of adultry") then a sacrifice is required. Laws assured them of being fed and the priests made a good living out of it, too.
The "new covenant" Jesus offered was for them to come clean about what they were doing. That's why he was sent only to the Jews. I think he was the closest communication we have had with our creators. Why does "god" not hear you or stop the madness? There's a war on in heaven---still. They can't get back to us. But I do believe they will rescue all of us from this tragic living very soon.
This nazi--paradise mind yo-yo sounds like it's based on the Stockholm syndrome. (emotional mind manipulation) I guess after awhile, paradise is not enough enough to compensate for the reality of mental anguish.
CD, I am really sorry that your parents didn't love you like they should. I hope you escaped in time not to pass it on to your children.