Personal Update

by passwordprotected 44 Replies latest jw experiences

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  scotsman

  Sam and I have opened a book on how long before you are an atheist. I say within 6 months as you are a bright guy who moves fast and isn't scared of change :-)

  I'm with Paul

  And I''d therefore forget about DAing yourself. I'm not DAed, definitely involved in "wrong doing", and never look over my shoulder. One benefit is that other flakey JWs can still contact you before they've made the final break which would be harder for them if you DA.

  Intrigued by the Alpha choice. I've visited them and it had the feel of the JWs all over it - but then I'm a non believer and so my perspective is quite different from yours. We've got a newish church here called Destiny that's real happy clappy and expansionist but I haven't manged to visit them yet.

  Good luck!
• 

  besty

  http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Believe-Everything-You-Think/dp/1591024080

  http://www.amazon.com/Third-Chimpanzee-Evolution-Future-Animal/dp/0060984031

  http://www.amazon.com/Mistakes-Were-Made-But-Not/dp/0151010986

  Let us know when you have read all three books - not pushing an atheistic agenda per se, just giving you a different paradigm that was denied all born and brought up cult members....
• 

  Dogpatch

  Well Besty when you are done with them there books, please drop them by. :-)) Randy
• 

  passwordprotected

  @jwfacts - my wife sent you an email last week (or thereabouts) thanking you for your site. Let your mother see that!
• 

  passwordprotected

  @besty - leaving a mind control religious cult and becoming a Christian, while not that common, isn't any different from leaving a mind control religious cult and becoming an atheist. It's just exchanging the enforced beliefs (which I never really bought into as a JW) of a cult for a completely different set of beliefs that, rather than enforced, are chosen.
  
  I personally like having faith in God, it makes me feel nice.
• 

  passwordprotected

  @scotsman - re. DAing, I don't want to have the name Jehovah associated with me in any way. Plus, with a big extended family, some of whom are hardcore, we want to make a stand for what we believe in, we want our kids to know where they stand too, etc etc.
  
  Re Alpha being similar to JWs, I suppose the fact that the people running it are committed in their beliefs, then yes, there are similarities. However, that's pretty much where the similarities end. I mean, last night people were voicing opinions that were totally different from everyone else and they didn't get taken into another room by two guys in suits and given 'counsel'...
• 

  besty

  leaving a mind control religious cult and becoming a Christian, while not that common

  I think there are two options for most that leave JWs - born again Christian or atheist - nothing else fits their desire for certainty, so I would somewhat disagree that it is uncommon to become evangelical after leaving

  I agree that you are making a partially informed choice - if I could be so bold as to suggest reading the three books I mentioned that don't have a pro-atheist or anti-Christian agenda whatsoever will give you some of the other pieces (they did for me anyways) to make a fully informed choice

  the point is you have all the time in the world to make your choices now - ahhh freedom....what was it Mel Gibson said.....
• 

  passwordprotected

  There's a 3rd option;
  Drift through life feeling relentlessly guilty, still believing all of the WTS lies and knowing that you're going to snuff it at Armageddon.I know one DFd JW who is suicidal through guilt and fear of Armageddon. No joke.
  
  And a 4th option;
  Get into Eastern philosophy and meditation, along with yoga and Tony Robbins seminars.*
  
  *I know an xJW who does all of that.
• 

  scotsman

  I'm sure Alpha are different from JWs but they still had the same feel to me. Initial visits to a KH are often warm and friendly etc etc...

  With regard to DAing, I'm not sure how you see yourself currently being connected to the name Jehovah if you've already left. You know that your hardcore family will read your DA in whatever way they wish - evidence of pride/arrogance or whatever that they've always seen in you and I never heard of any witness that DAed or was DFed that made me "think" while I was a JW. It was my old pals that had left, avoided being cut off and got back in touch with me after some time that aided my departure. Not through de-culting me, but through being normal, having moved on and being supportive and non-judgemental. If they had been DAed I would not have let them back in to my life when I did

  It's early days for you and I'm hoping that I don't sound patronising but I'm suggesting that you think ahead. It's nigh on impossible to send a clear message by DAing, they see what they're told to see.

  By letting your kids see that you can change your mind about something and still be a lving dad is more important than letting them know where they stand. Life, the world, is wonderfully messy and complicated and making a stand is sometimes not the best move.

  "Shut up and eff off Euan" yeah, i hear you!
• 

  besty

  Life, the world, is wonderfully messy and complicated and making a stand is sometimes not the best move.

  Amen to that - we would not be DF'd if I had my time over again. That is their rules and their labels - the smart ex-JW's I have subsequently met (eg Scotsman, ITSupport and others) are not labelled and it would give a lot more flexibility to reach out to current JW's with doubts.

  The substance of my life and lifestyle would be unchanged though - moving house in that case would be essential for celebrating holidays, letting the kids do b'days etc at school. (oh and smoking big cubans etc)