Everyone has something to teach us. I mean everyone. Station in life, wealth, position, power, or lack of all of that, everyone has something to teach us. Even the Watchtower Society, and the homeless and the druggies. Perhaps even the U.S. Congress. Well, maybe I stretched it too far with that one. Then again, maybe I didn't.
What is there to learn from all these people, then? Well, just about everything we don't know and we need to learn, maybe.
How do we learn from these people? I submit that we just ask them and take what we get. If what we get makes sense in our current situation, use it. If it doesn't, then don't use it, but keep asking others. You never know what will make that difference in your life and it is there waiting for you. Somewhere. Anywhere. And when you might least expect it.
I guess an example would be appropriate. Twenty two years ago my wife dumped me for a guy who was 11 years younger than she was. We had four children: two were hers and were teenagers at the time and were from a previous marriage and ours were 4 and 6 at the time. Her children were 3 and 6 when we met and I took them on as my own and still love them as my own.
Fast forward through all the melodrama.......About the time of the divorce, I was whining to a friend of mine about what a cheap slut my former wife was for dumping me for a younger guy. I rambled on and on about that. Finally, he said to me, "You must be a major idiot then." I asked him why he would say such a thing. He replied, "Well, the woman that you personally chose to be your wife and the woman that you personally chose to take on the responsibilities of her two young children and the woman that YOU personally chose to be the mother of your own two children, you just called a "slut" amongst other bad things. That means you are an idiot for chosing her to be your wife. You are saying you chose a "slut" to be YOUR wife, you fool. It is all your fault. If she was a "slut" and you chose her, then you are a huge moron. You can't blame her for being what she is after-the-fact.
Well. I had to face the facts. He was right. I had to realize that the woman I loved and the mother of my children was my choice, and despite my considerable emotions was still the woman I chose AND the mother of my children. And despite how good it made feel to say it when I was whining, she was no "slut."
From that day forward I always referred to her as "my former wife", or "the mother of my children." I never referred to her as 'my ex-wife' or in any other negative way. Still don't. Never will.
During the ensuing years I never said a bad word about her to our children and she never said a bad word about me. Jennifer is now 39 and an OB/GYN. Peter is 36, happily married and the father of two beautiful children. Benjamin is now 28 and he and his bride have given us a delightful 3 year old grandchild. Rebecca is 26, single and happy and healthy. And beautiful. And "my former wife" and I are on close terms to this day. I've been to her home many times and she cooks great meals (she always did) and she has brought me meals and presents on my birthday. I've sent this "slut" flowers on Mothers Day several times. I can truly say I still love her and that I am not "in love" with her. This is a good thing. Our family is still intact.
All because a friend of mine made a simple but powerful difference in my life.
Learning as we go......sometimes when we least expect it.....
Farkel
...OUTLAW