Why do people "come back"?

by kairos 27 Replies latest jw friends

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  Ucantnome

  Personally I don't think I could return and be a " glutton for punishment " as the JW's I know would make me feel guilty for having been out for so long- Oh sure, I'd be love bombed once I got back in , but after that all the DEMANDS of being a JW and the guilt and fear would be re-indoctrinated into my mind. I couldn't put myself through that. I guess I cannot understand the reasons anybody would put themselves through that. Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  When I returned I wouldn't say I was loved bombed. I also didn't feel any guilt for having been out for so long. I left for good reason and my return did not mean that I had changed my view. It was just something I needed to do at the time I felt very relaxed at the hall more so than when I was a witness. The actual going to the hall was never easy for me when I as a witness, although I believed and never thought the day would come when I was not a witness, it felt about the same going to the hall years later.

  As for the future I have no way of knowing what I will do or not do but as I have had the experience of being sure that I would not leave the witnesses and have, I wouldn't rule out a return under certain circumstances
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  Finkelstein

  It has to realized that JWS mental indoctrination doesn't leave a person for along time, this of course can vary dependent on long the person was involved with the JWS.,

  The preponderance of guilt or fearful caution stays with a person and for a lengthy time until these ones do their own knowledge and fact based gathering and develop their own independent personal identity and character, separate and distinct from the one the WTS. creates.
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  flipper

  UCANTNOME- I'm still trying to understand what motivates you. You are very vague and evasive in your answers. I know you are trying to remain anonymous and I get that and understand and respect that - however- what was the " good reason " you left the Witnesses ? And if you left for a " good reason " what would make you return ? A " bad reason " ? Or another " good reason " ? And the comment you make about returning in the future " under certain circumstances " - what would those particular " circumstances " include ? Just curious
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  Ucantnome

  flipper

  what was the " good reason " you left the Witnesses ? I no longer felt convinced about the events associated with 1914 after reading a Watchtower. I thought my problems would be resolved in time, however they were not. I felt I could not join in with the preaching and my life needed to change somewhat. The changes meant less meetings. Although at first I had no intention of leaving, it soon became clear it was probably for the best.

  And if you left for a " good reason " what would make you return ? I think some on this site have commented that the Witnesses as a religion seem quite different now than some years ago. There has been changes I believe over the years. These changes may continue until it reaches a point that I may feel differently about the preaching work.

  When I first started to post on this site a few years ago I felt differently about the Witnesses than I do now, I was more anti witness. I have defined more clearly in my mind what I agree or disagree with and how far my conscience would allow me to return if I had the desire to return. My situation in life could change and I may feel that attending the hall could meet my needs at the time.
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  OnTheWayOut

  I think some on this site have commented that the Witnesses as a religion seem quite different now than some years ago. There has been changes I believe over the years. These changes may continue until it reaches a point that I may feel differently about the preaching work.

  I know the thread will be derailed anyway, so I will try to stick to the main point and address that comment.

  Why do some go back? There are some, like the one I quote above, who must feel that the Watchtower and it's leaders are the closest thing to "the truth" and just need some adjustments. They just don't consider enough how the Watchtower has NEVER EVER EVER been correct about any of their doctrine that are unique to them. NEVER!!!!!!! They just don't think enough about how Watchtower leaders demand total obedience or else members are shunned. Maybe they lack social skills and don't want to try to fit in anywhere but would rather suffer the shunning in order to be totally accepted back into the fold in a few months.

  I suppose that if you are done with education, and don't care to share birthday cake with coworkers, and are prepared to either give up your free time or else have your friends and elders criticize you for not doing so, then you may be ready to start examining the doctrine itself before returning.

  I don't expect such a person to listen to the likes of me, as I have seen the light about all of Bible-based belief, but even if a person still wanted to worship the God of the Protestant or Jewish Bible, they could do better to go without organized religion or find some nondenominational group. Deciding on a percentage of correctness just seems silly to me. Either your religion lets you believe what you want without shunning or ostracizing you, or who needs it?
• 

  zeb

  return after years out?

  because they never 'left'..

  never found a constructive hobby or new friends and probably spent their time in front of the idiot box. (from observation)
  
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  flipper

  UCANTNOME- You have to do what's best for your personal situation. I respect that. I just know that personally I would never return to a criminal organization like the Jehovah's Witnesses. I cannot support the WT Society's tolerance of child abusers within their midst. You may be able to compartmentalize that criminal tolerance and be alright with it- I cannot. To each his own, good luck to you
• 

  Ucantnome

  They just don't think enough about how Watchtower leaders demand total obedience or else members are shunned.

  OnTheWayOut you quoted from my post and then posted the above. I had a close family member disfellowshipped and I met with the elders at various levels regarding it. There was discussion with elders as to how the disfellowshipped one was treated by the elders the person had become depressed and there was concern for their health. I spoke, within the last year, to a Jehovah's Witness who in the past had been disfellowshipped and how they were treated and the effect it had upon them. I knew the person well and at the time although a witness myself I would always say hello if I saw them. So I have thought quite a lot about it.

  You also posted this

  Why do some go back? There are some, like the one I quote above, who must feel that the Watchtower and it's leaders are the closest thing to "the truth" and just need some adjustments. They just don't consider enough how the Watchtower has NEVER EVER EVER been correct about any of their doctrine that are unique to them. NEVER!!!!!!!

  I left the Witnesses many years ago probably before you were an elder. I have considered what the Watchtower has said and taught over the years. I still have all of the publications that I had when I left and I often read them along with older publications that are found on the internet. No I don't feel that they are the closest thing to 'the truth' I have two theologians in my family and one of my children has a science degree and we have discussions.

  When I left the Witnesses I invited the elders to come and see me, they seemed reluctant and took 6 months to do it. They have never spoken to my wife although she was a Witness for many years and raised in the truth. I asked them if they wanted to disfellowship me, in full knowledge of what the disfellowshipping would mean as we had already had a family member disfellowshipped as I stated, they declined.

  At the time of the disfellowshipping of the family member who I mentioned and the problems that it caused I was asked by a friend, a Witness, if it would make me leave 'the truth'. I laughed. No, no way! The truth to me was centred on the Good News that we preached, the establishment of the Messianic Kingdom in 1914 and as it was the Good News I believed then, that could not be changed or called into question. Everything else, shunning, no blood, what elders did or didn't do made no difference. The anointed, I thought, were identified by their prophesying regarding the " ' magnificent things of God' about God's Kingdom since A.D. 1914, when the Gentile Times ("the appointed times of the nations") ended " ( WT 1960 page 594) They had the holy spirit I believed and so I was loyal. When the Good News that we preached, for me, became questionable I stopped. However as I have stated I could not foresee this occurring in anyway, due to my faith ('the assured expectation of things hoped for...' )in the Good News that I shared in preaching. Having had it occur. I find that I could not say with confidence that I would never be a Witness again in the future.