When a woman's fed up.....
A man comes home from work early to surprise his wife with
flowers and candy and finds that she's already got something
planned. The computer is on and there is note written on it. He sits
down in front of the computer and notices his handgun on one side
of the computer and on the other side, an empty container of pain
pills.
He reads the message:
By the time you read this I will already be dead,
so don't get too excited. Don't bother looking
around the house for me either. Of course I
didn't want my body where my children may see,
for they have already seen enough. They have
already had to endure far too many years of seeing
their mother being tortured by the man they are
supposed to look up to. But even though I know I
am going to hurt them dearly, I cannot live like
this anymore. So, I am taking these pain pills, prescribed
for the kind of pain you inflict and I am
going somewhere to take a nap.
Don't bother looking for me, just sit there
and do something that you haven't been able
to do for the last ten years, listen to me.
Now that I had to go and kill myself to get
your attention, the least you can do is finish
reading this letter. I have been writing it over
and over in my head for years.
Every time that you beat me I had to rewrite it
to add to the horror. Besides I didn't want
you to find me after I died because the thought
of you touching me even after death turns my stomach.
I refuse to let you touch me again, in life or death.
I chose to die because I promised God when I married
you that I would love you for life. And since I am more
afraid of him than you, I chose death. I cannot love you
anymore so I have to leave this place.
As I look around to this house, you know its funny but
I can remember the good times that we shared together.
Before the babies, before the drinking, do you remember?
I do, and it was good back then. It was almost good enough
to give me a little hope that we could get back to those
times.
And they were good times. I guess I have to settle with
the fact that no matter what's going on right now, you once
loved me,
and even you can't deny that. I think what hurts more than
my ribs that are stinging me right now is the fact that I
still love you. That realization is stronger than any fist you
could ball up and hurl at me. Knowing that my love for you
causes a stronger and more lasting pain is much worse than a swift
kick in the groin from your steel toed shoes. But this is a
pain that
I can take care of, something that I can remedy.
I am not into pain, even personally inflicted kinds, so I
had
to relieve myself. Even as I stood in the mirror this
morning
admiring the black eye that you gave me last night I knew
you would never touch me again. And as I sucked blood from my
split, swollen lips I knew I couldn't stand another blow from
you.
Not
because of the fact that you promised with tears in your
eyes
that you would never do that to me again. Nor the fact
that
you put your hand on the bible and swore to me that you
were
going to get help. Not even the fact that you got down on
your
knees and swore to God that you would never lift a hand to
me
again. Well your prayers were answered and no, you will
not be touching me again. I guess I just had to play God and make
sure of that myself.
Last night when I picked myself off of the floor and fell
into
your arms it wasn't because I wanted to, I just couldn't
stand.
It wasn't because I wanted you to hold me, as you may have
thought. You picked me up carried me to our bed and lay on
top
of me and kissed my swollen face so soft and gentle.
Even though you brushed my hair from eyes and kissed my
eyelids,
I didn't feel anything. And even though I may have moaned
when
you licked me between my thighs, I really didn't feel any
kind
of pleasure. And when you put yourself inside of me and I
grabbed your butt and said your name a few times, I was
just
helping you get it over with. I moaned because your weight
was
on my stinging ribs. So what that you asked me what the
fuck I was doing when I scratched your back, I felt the urge.
And when you went to sleep, I laid there under you because
I couldn't move. When you finally rolled off of me you were
limp
and you left your condom inside of me. The condom you
searched
all over for because you didn't want me to bleed on you
like I did last time you kicked me.
I woke up before you this morning and cooked your
breakfast
like
I always do. I hoped you enjoyed the piss in your oatmeal
and
the blood I sucked from my lip mixed in your jelly. I
watched
you spread it on bread that I wiped my ass with before I
put
it
in the toaster. I don't even want to tell you what I did
with
those sausages. I spit in your coffee and watched you eat,
noticing the look on your face because you knew something
wasn't right. And when you got through with your
breakfast,
I put your dishes in the sink but I wrapped the knife you
used
this morning in a napkin and put it in my pocket.
After you left I laughed. I laughed all the way to the
bank
and took out every penny and took advances on all our
credit cards. I donated half of the money to a woman's shelter,
all one hundred and twenty thousand of it. Now, you can
pay
back all the other women like me, those who had the
strength
to
leave their man. Let those women get a pool table or
something,
hell, they deserve it. I took the rest and put it away for
my children. I left some money for Greg so that he can pay
for the counseling he's going to need to reverse the damage of
seeing his father slamming his mother into the
refrigerator.
I sent the rest to Dana in college so that she would never
need to come back home when she graduates. You are never
going to touch my children again, I made sure of it. No, I
am positive that you will not touch them again.
So, I figured that with me gone you would run over to
your little woman's house and tell her the good news.
So I went over there this afternoon and I killed the
bitch.
I stabbed her little backstabbing ass dead in her heart
with
the knife you used this morning. And since there was a lot
of
screaming and shit I knew that the police would be there
soon so I took that nasty ass condom you left inside of me and
stuck it up in her ass.
I know you didn't actually kill her but you might as well
have.
It's your fault that she's dead, so why should anyone else
take
the blame but you. And since you killed her after you just
got through fucking her it won't seem premeditated so you
will
probably just get manslaughter and spend the rest of your
life
in jail. They probably won't sentence you to death. But
you will be ok. You got your high priced lawyers to defend
you.
The same lawyers that bribed a judge when they had you on
charges of embezzlement from your firm. Remember you gave
me those documents to shred? Well, I shredded most of them.
I got up this morning and mailed the others I had saved
out in the garage to the State's Attorney. And since you've
already
killed someone you probably are going to jail for a long
time
anyway, so those papers are probably not going to do much
damage. But I had already mailed them before I thought
about it.
Damm, you haven't been this quiet in a long time. In fact,
I can't even remember when you've been so quiet before. I
guess if all that I had to do was die to shut you up I
should have killed myself along time ago.
So, since I got your undivided attention, for a change,
let me tell you what I want you to do. On one side of the
computer screen there is a gun with one bullet in it. On the other
side is the telephone.
You could
A: Call the police, turn yourself in and go to
jail
for the rest of your life.
Or,
B: You can take that gun and join me.
It's up to you.
Don't worry about Greg, he is with your mother, you won't
be seeing him again. You already killed your girlfriend so
she'll do you no good either. You are about to lose your business
and you are going to jail. Your wife will be mysteriously
found
dead in your office tomorrow morning. My body is still
bruised
and battered from when you beat me and your skin is under
my
fingernails from where I scratched your back last night.
So shit doesn't look too good for you now. But as you
said last night before you threw me into the wall
I am a bitch. Well, ain't this a bitch. Oh, I know that
you didn't think that I was going to die all by myself now did
you?
I already killed you motherfucker.
You can either go to jail and get fucked up your ass for
the
rest of your life and have your man beat you around your
jail cell like you did me. Until you die like me, after
becoming the bitch you claimed me to be. Or you could take this gun and put one in your dome and kill yourself, it doesn't matter to
me.
Remember we said until death do us part right?
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Moments pass. There is a click. One gunshot breaks the
silence and
his body hits the floor. The roses he brought begin to rise
in a
pool of
blood that spreads across the floor like a fan. His wife
steps out
of the closet she was hiding in and calls the police.
She steps over her husband, sits down at the computer and
deletes
the message on the screen. She brings up the suicide note
that she
wrote
for him earlier. She gets rid of the empty pillbox and
calls
her
mother-in-law to check on her children. She hangs up the
phone and
calls his other woman and hangs up. The women calls back
several
times but she didn't answer. The police will assume that
the
husband
must have called her before he shot himself.
She practiced all the lines out loud. When she heard the
police pull
up she kneeled beside the man that had once promised God
that he was
going to love and cherish her and felt nothing. That man
was
gone
long ago and
this body belonged to someone whom she didn't even know.
She
didn't
feel any pain besides the tingling of her ribs. She had no
regrets
either. She put him out of his misery and ended her own
misery with
just one bullet.
Yet, she knelt there and screamed like her life was over.
My son sent me this story. He remembers my beatings from his father. My bloody noses and black eyes. Thank God in his 24 years he's never laid a hand on any woman. He didn't continue the cycle. He told me he wished I'd thought of this.....
April
*
"Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)