by wonderwoman77 15 Replies latest jw friends
Boozy, there are lots and lots of available women, and, to my surprise, it's turned out that a goodly number of them don't have major issues going on. It's just plain unfair to yourself to stay in a onesided relationship when there's so much more out there to be had!
COMF
WW,
I am trying to get the sense of your analogy. Toughy. I know for the last couple of years I have been going through a feeling that if my relationships aren't giving ANYTHING back to me, I don't feel like maintaining it.
You probably know the type. Friends and family who always expect you to call them. Pop unto your messenger and say "Hey where have you been I miss you! Call me" When you know perfectly well they have your telephone number. Why don't they call you.
I have gone through this with my parents since I da'ed myself in June of 2000 as well. Actually even before that. It seemed like most of the time I was the one calling them. Of course, my mother in particular denied that, but I had the phone bills to prove it. Plus it seemed like my parents could only get away one time a year to visit me (I live in a different state) and yet they make special arrangements to visit my brother and sister-in-law who are at the Farm in Wallkill regularly. Not to mention that brother comes home to visit all the time, because he and Dad own the building Dad and Mom live in together. In addition, they see my other brother and sister-in-law a couple of times a month, who also live in a different state. I guess the excuse with that is the grandchildren.
In July of 2001, my mother said some extremely hurtful things to me i.e. basically I don't care about your life. I didn't call them from then until earlier this week. Because it just hurt me so much. When I finally did call, it was business. They seemed extremely happy to hear from me. I have recieved one three line email since then. Oh well, one continues to hope.
But I think maybe this is what you might be talking about? If so, I don't know any advice to give you. Wish I did.
TW
Well thinkers wife, you got mostly what I am talking about. I was thinking of my mom when I wrote it because she has borderline personality disorder and is emotionally empty and relies on others to fill her. I was her emotionally support for 11 years. I have gotten out of that role, but everyonce and a while she comes back and I try not to give, because if I give too much, it is painful for me. I am sorry for your experiences.
where the person is an empty bottle with holes in the bottom, and you are constantly trying to fill them up
I've heard something similar at the hall about the drop off of publishers....they leak out at the bottom.
ISP
Richie - you have very well defined the extent of my relationship even with the few JW's I still consider to be "friends".
You said: There was literally no one you could really confide in and tell them exactly what was on your mind. The first thing they would have done is to run to an elder and then say to me that it is for my own good.
So I could never get serious with any of them, but keep a superficial relationship going while keeping my thoughts to myself most of the time. "
Sad, but true.
Makena
Ritchie and Makena,
Just wanted to say, felt the same way the entire 38 years I was a witness.
Just felt like I could never be who I really was and be accepted. Made me very unhappy.
WW,
I realized you were talking about your Mom from another thread. I am sorry you have to experience this very difficult situation.
TW
