Is Life What You Make It?

by Englishman 16 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Englishman

  Life IS what you make it.

  Broadly speaking, I do believe that. It seems to me that most persons fall into 1 of 3 categories:

  1. The well-balanced person who is a good achiever and enjoys the fruitage of his labours. He feels entitled to lifes rewards and enjoys them to the full. He is probably a natural leader and enjoys being popular. He made his life what it is and happily acknowledges the fact. He would be genuinely amused if someone told him that he was unworthy of his achievements.

  2. The person who battles constantly with himself and puts in a disproportionate effort to gain anything, a neurotic personality who constantly blames himself whenever things go wrong. Nevertheless he still achieves much but at enormous cost and effort. He knows he's made life what it is but he should have done much better. Easy pickings for an organisation that can provide instant approving friends.

  3. The person who takes absolutely no responsibility for their own life. This personality disordered person knows that he would be happy and succesful if only the whole world would change its attitude to accomodate him and his quirks. Possible dub material if much is made of how unloving and cruel the world is today.

  Go on, be honest. Do you think that you fit into any of those 3 groups? I rate myself in the second group trying to get into the first!

  Englishman.

  Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....
• 

  MrMoe

  Yes, I agree that most people fall into these three categories. I assume I fall in the first category with my career and family, although in matters of the heart and relationships, I can fall into number 2 at times.
• 

  radar

  Here is the psychology Englishman.

  If you say you are in the first group, then you will appear to be immodest and therefore "unbalanced" rather than "Well balanced".
  So by saying you are in the "second" group, you are in effect saying that you are aware of your weaknesses, and so therefore you really are balanced, like in the first group.
  Also by saying that the second group are " Easy pickings for an organisation that can provide instant approving friends" you are in fact edging your bets in favour of agreement from most on this board, who have once belonged to such an organisation themselves.

  So whats the purpose of your post

  I don't think you are being honest with yourself or others by making a group list such as this.

  How's that for "unbalanced then"?

  Radar

  Like all people who have nothing, I lived on dreams
• 

  Mum

  Very good Summary, Englishman. I was in category 2 in my young years, with a smattering of characteristics from category 3. I have been working on myself for 20+ years and am now much more in category 1.

  Thanks for the insight.

  Seize the day, and put the least possible trust in tomorrow. - Horace

  I have learned to live each day as it comes and not to borrow trouble by dreading tomorrow. - Dorothy Dix
• 

  AMarie

  Wow, Englishman. Your summary is very true, however, I think that we can be a mixture or move from category to category in our life, depending on our experiences and how old we are.

  Unfortunately, growing up I fit totally into category 2. I was extremely self critical of everything I did. I was so negative that my own mother called me the "neurotic" child of the bunch. Although I am still inclined to be that way sometimes, I feel with age and experience that I've moved more towards number one. I've relaxed a bit and developed a sense of humor. I really don't think that started happening until I left the Dubs, to tell you the truth!

  Extreme fundamental religions such as the dubs tend to nurse such personalities as group #1 and #3.

  AMarie
• 

  Englishman

  Radar,

  I wasn't aiming the post specifically at you. The point that I was trying to make was that we have the power to make change should we so desire. If we can see what group we relate to best then we are already half-way there. If we tend towards group 3 wherein lies self-pity and blame then our work is really cut out.

  Englishman.

  Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....
• 

  Billygoat

  Can I say that I'm trying to be in category one?

  I do believe the WTS is harmful in more ways than good. I had a terrible experience with their belief system and do not plan on going back. I do wish my parents and the brothers would take responsibility for their part in harming me. But I do refuse to let that experience be the excuse for me living a bad life or making bad decisions. Yes, they screwed me. But my decisions today are mine and mine alone. I will not allow them to have anymore power over me. So yes, I try to be in category one. But it's come only after a lot of heartache, personal loss, and work at changed thinking patterns and behaviors.

  I'm proud of the fact that I was able to pick myself up from my bootstraps and move on. I think we all should be! We're all at different levels of dusting ourselves off, but we're alive aren't we? We have choices now, don't we? I say make the most of it and enjoy LIFE!

  Andi
• 

  Billygoat

  AMarie,
  

  I've relaxed a bit and developed a sense of humor.

  Awesome point! And isn't that key in our recoverys?

  Andi
• 

  Englishman

  Hi Billygoat,

  Caught your responses to Sleepy's post, then read your post here.

  I'm with you all the way on both points!

  Englishman.

  Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....
• 

  joelbear

  I am definitely a neurotic overachiever.

  I have had more than one boss tell me to just chill out.

  Joel