Is it rude to not include "Gifts are not necessary" on a b-day invitation? (page 2)

beksbks

There you have it. Nameless hits the nail upon the head.

White Dove

Thank you, guys!

It felt strange but I didn't know why.

I need to listen to my own guts and just trust them.

I thought it would be a bit snobbish to include the line because as one poster said, it makes it sound as if you already knew that gifts were on the way.

I think it's a bit of self flattery to include it.

She is huge on manners and outside appearance to the point of appearing quite vain.

I feel guilty sometimes for just being me.

hubert

I have never heard of such a thing.

I've never received an invitation with a suggestion like that in it.

Go with your heart. If you feel like giving a gift, give one. If not, don't give one. That's all.

Hubert

According to the Etiquette Queen, it is quite acceptable to include on the invitations: "Gifts are not required", or "No gifts please". Alternatively, you can suggest a donation to a favorite charity in the honored person's name: "In lieu of gifts, a donation to <favorite charity> in <birthday person>'s name would be greatly appreciated."

There are other ways to say it, without actually saying it.

"In lieu of gifts, best wishes only please."

“A hug is the perfect gift; one size fits all, and nobody minds if you exchange it.”

“The greatest gift is not found in a store ... , but in the hearts of true friends.”

If the party is for adults only, you could provide disposable cameras for the guests and have them take pictures through the evening. When you send the films for processing, have them saved as digital images and create an online picture album of the best photos. Another idea I've seen is to request a nice bottle of wine for a gift exchange - when everyone arrives, they put their name in a hat and later get to draw names to take home a bottle of wine.

White Dove

Thanks, Scully.

I was wondering if it was tacky to NOT include that "No gifts" line.

My friend says to always include it.

jamiebowers

Actually Miss Manners says that to include any mention of gifts on an invitation is rude. I've read similar advice from other sources that says the invitation may mention a website or blog that includes further information about the event. It is there that registries or requests for no gifts are supposed to be cited.

White Dove

It feels off to me to include any mention whatsoever of gifts, to have them or not to have them.

I think gift giving, not under compulsion, is a great way to show your loved ones a little bit of love.

It's self expression saying that you thought of them.

I love giving and getting gifts.

My friend got extremely embarrassed by the surprise birthday party her co-workers threw for her.

Now, she makes sure and stresses to her friends to not give any gifts, that their presence is enough.

Geez. Party pooper.

Finally-Free

Damned if I know. I've never seen it in an invitation, probably because I never get invitations. I never send out invitations either. A couple of friends and I go out for dinner on our birthdays, but there's no cake, gifts, or herd of waiters singing 'happy birthday' at us. We just go out and the birthday boy doesn't pay. We like it that way.

I'm not big on receiving gifts. It makes me feel awkward. I also hate being the center of attention.

W

White Dove

Honestly, I need to get more exciting friends. She's the same one that flipped out at my show of concern two months ago.

To not like it is fine.

To push your preferences on others (expect them to behave the same as you) is not fine.

Guess I need to find funner people (read: more compatible with me) to hang out with.

momzcrazy

Just say, "Your presence is the only gift I wish for".

Is it rude to not include "Gifts are not necessary" on a b-day invitation?

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