When an In-Home Family Member is DF'd

by DoomVoyager 30 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  Open mind

  Doom Voyager,

  Is your Dad an Elder, MS or RP? Is your Mom an RP?

  If so, the elders will probably use those as bargaining chips to try getting you kicked out sooner.

  Blondie: ( I know you know this, just playing Q&A for the listeners. )

  Does that mean if the spouse is a "spiritual endangerment" that you can get out/kick them out and divorce them?

  Yes, except for the divorce part. Separation for "spiritual endangerment" is just fine.

  Does that mean at 18 the child gets kicked out of the house?

  Does that mean if the parent gets "better" they get kicked out?

  Does that mean if the older child gets "better" they get kicked out?

  
  People who kick out JW relatives in those situations are perceived as very spiritual and taking a stand for what is right. In reality, most JWs will allow a "grace period" between the time a DFed live-in relative is able to fend for themselves and the time they actually leave. But it IS expected that they eventually do so. If Doom Voyager is in good health, over 18, and gets DFed, the elders will expect him to be making progress towards living on his own. If it becomes clear that his parents are OK with him just living there indefinitely, they'll lose privileges at a minimum. If they speak out against the DFing "arrangement" they could find themselves DFed as well.

  om
• 

  blondie

  OM, you can though divorce on the grounds of "spiritual endangerment" you just can remarry "scripturally."
• 

  Open mind

  Blondie,

  How DARE you correct a brother in front of onlookers!

  Uh, yeah, but, come to think of it, .....you're right.

  Jezebel.

  om
• 

  SnakesInTheTower

  blondie:

  OM, you can though divorce on the grounds of "spiritual endangerment" you just can remarry "scripturally."

  was that a typo Blondie? shouldnt that say "you just cant remarry scripturally" ? ******************running for cover for correcting Blondie who is a helluva lot smarter than me... ****************** Snakes ()
• 

  snowbird

  Don't run, Snakes, you're absolutely right.

  Blondie is a sweetheart who can take it.

  My input is that the more rules you make, the more rules you will have to make.

  The WTS should have realized this a long, long time ago.

  Sylvia

  Edited to add: LOL @ Open Mind.
• 

  besty

  Cutting off from the Christian congregation does not involve immediate death, so family ties continue. Thus, a man who is disfellowshipped or who disassociates himself may still live at home with his Christian wife and faithful children.

  Count the embedded suggestions - propagandic brainwashing at its finest:

  • JW congregation = Christian congregation, ie no other possibility to join another church and be Christian
  • Family ties only continue as the DF/DA person is not immediately dead
  • A DF/DA man MAY still live in his own home with his own family. Well thank you WTS for the generous permission. Of course he MAY not live at home if his wife gets alternative advice and support from the loving elders.
  • The non DF/DA wife is the Christian. End of story.
  • The children must be 'faithful' ie good lil' dubbies to be included in all the love.

  2 sentences and 5 different ways of telling the reader what to think. Magnificent.
• 

  DoomVoyager

  I guess I will answer some of the personal questions that have been fielded.

  My dad is an MS, being an elder would be "too much work" and he doesn't want to be promoted, but he is happy being an MS. Mom is chronically ill and does not piosneer.

  I am currently attending college, I will be finished January 2010.

  The reason I said that "the cards are in my hand" is becuase I do most of the work around the house (with my mom being chronically ill) and if they were to kick me out, they would most likely also have to move. My dad has no interest in moving. Therefore I think it is unlikely they would kick me out. Furthermore the extended family are NOT dubs and what kind of a "good witness" (hate that term ) would it give to them if I got kicked out of my house for simply disagreeing with the teachings of men?

  So I'm weighing my options and seeing if I can't have my cake and eat it too - live at home while "unofficially DA'd" or DF'd, if the elders see fit to do so.

  As further background I am in extremely good standing in the cong, the elders are always trying to give me "more privileges" which are the last thing I want! Not sure if that would influence their reaction towards me.
• 

  blondie

  It was a typo.............."you can't remarry scripturally" although you can get a divorce on the grounds of "scriptural endangerment."

  It is sad how much power jws give to the elders; I was somewhat resistant but with a smile.
• 

  hamsterbait

  ST Anne:

  "his wife and family WILL NOT BE COMFORTABLE WITH etc." What if this is not the case?

  This is a prime example of mind control, where the Witchtower doeas not acually say "YOU MUST NOT ..."

  BUT the wording makes it clear what a faithful witless ought to do.

  Of course they have not told us what to think or do... but ...

  HB
• 

  hamsterbait

  Any body remember the Stevie Smith poem

  "NIPPING PUSSY'S FEET IN FUN.."

  "NIP NIP

  miaow miaow

  My you are such fun."

  This is a spanking Blondie moment. How fun. How sexxsy and the city!!"

  HB

  When do the pics go up??

  Blondie HON - you wot right well I jest.