Freaked Out, Failed to Vote, & Cult Thoughts Kick in too....

yknot

So I tried voting twice today, both time complete failures. Now it isn't only a select few in my KH who think I am possessed.

First time I got to the front of the line and freaked out badly. I came home and cleaned my house and took two cold showers. Went back and actually made into the booth but froze at the sight of the big oversized screen, buttons, and rolller pad. I couldn't do it, I just stood there silently crying until one of the volunteers retrieved me and walked me back to the truck. There I just completely lost it. It is just such an overwhelming decision, one despite reviewing all the available information on issues and past voting records I just haven't found myself drawn to one or the other or anyone else. I don't know what is best for this country right now, I can't even stand up to emotional blackmail let alone decide who should run the USA. Obama would get along better with allies, Biden is too partyline. McCain was more conservative but I wouldn't elect Palin any higher then the PTA . I really do worry about death too. Obama would leave two small children behind and the effects on the nation would be harsh. McCain dying in office wouldn't be too shocking and his family would morn but there would be no social/civil worries other then Palin being President which I don't wanna contemplate. I thought about the Constitition Party as I understand Dr. Paul backed them but they were a bit too religion driven as well. Don't get me wrong I like religion a bit in politics but not to the point of worrying about someone trying to legitimize us a 'Christian" only nation and aiming for a theocracy.

To make matters worse while trying to make sense of my reaction to everything ...... my stoooopid brainwashing kicks in full throttle! I am meeting with the CO this week and as I am driving down the street tears flowing like waterfalls my brain is in high CULT mode about how I can turn this into an "Experience"..... very few times in life does someone pull over and question themselves about being really seriously mentally ill!

I don't really expect anyone to comment

I just needed to get this out of my system cuz if I don't I will probably start showing more signs of OCD like behavior

The good news is my house is extrememly clean and I have been throughly exfoliated and my skin is glowing.

I am sorry I let myself and the country down..... I will try to do better in our state elections.

Yknot....... of the not ready class.

no more kool aid

I am just as messed up but without the clean house. I too, chickened out on the voting. Next time I will be ready. Baby steps. Why are you meeting with the CO?

mrsjones5

OK just take deep breaths. Maybe next time you could send in an absentee ballot. That might be less stress for you.

Josie

J-ex-W

Yknot--

Love you and your efforts! Please don't mind, but I found myself laughing my head off the whole time I was reading your post--not laughing at you...laughing because I SOOOOOOO get it!!!

Progress is still progress: Give yourself a huge pat on the back for even giving yourself permission to think about the issues!! That step is amazing in and of itself.

J-ex-W

Gopher

Isn't election day tomorrow (Tuesday)?

If you can go tomorrow, it may help to have a sample ballot filled out and decisions made ahead of time, so that all you have to deal with are the actual mechanics of the thing.

Many big-city newspapers have a page where you can create a sample ballot tailored to your area, or your state's Secretary of State website also has sample ballots.

Having the decisions made ahead of time can relieve some of the pressure.

Who are you?

Yknot you put in a greater effort than about 60 million non-voters. You took the time to learn about the issues that were important to you. You realize the importance of voting. The people that let down the country are the ones that try and explain away their apathy and laziness.

Sparkplug

Get back up on that horse. It is an emotional issue and I am sure it was as stressful as you felt it. But nothing beats having a panic attack like going back and kicking it in the kisser and tackling it. Tis true. Just saying, you might want to give it a try. I get panic moments like that sometimes and it sucks. I always feel better when I tackle them.

Homerovah the Almighty

Sheesh it sounds like you need to exfoliate yourself from being a JW completely, voting is a responsibility , an expression on

what direction and what improvements are needed at the highest government level, these improvement are for yourself , your community and your country in general.

Don't let that corrupt bogus religion put a muzzle on your mind and your mouth

...........express yourself the way you want to express yourself, its very liberating ........take care

tooktheredpill

I voted for the first time in my life last Friday. I asked for the "absentee ballot" and sent it by mail!!

It took out a lot of the stress . Yahoo!

Happy voting!

TTRP

yknot

Officially it is because I am allegedly demon possessed still. ....

Kinda makes me wish we did have exorcism just to shut a certain Eldum up!

Here is what I expect to happen......

We will have 10-15 minutes of hearing all the 'evidence' of my evilness and me acting all humbly fearful and crying a bit of crocodile tears in my weaker sex state. Then my BS conductor will say a few words in my defense and how well my children behave and how my FS group has reported increases in hours and RVs (all of which are faked or padded by errands). The CO will officially admonish me for the DC & CA things, tell me not to bring MP3s to the SAD and tell me to do some extra FS time with the older sisters to improve my "'outlook'"....... ahh extra FS, the hail Marys of the WTS.....

It will all be very serious but complete fluff.

Being the obedient submissive good lil Dubbie gal that I am..... I will abide by the no MP3s and instead I will be printing out copies of each scripted talk, with the usual TMS critique sheets. They will blend in nicely with our notebooks.

The CO also requested that I make him some CDs of Russell and Rutherford stuff.........SHHHHH that is a SECRET !!!

Freaked Out, Failed to Vote, & Cult Thoughts Kick in too....

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