When I first met 'individual' I was only 4 days past my 13th birthday, we got married when I was 18, he was 25, 3 kids by the time I was 23..... and still very happily married 12 and a half years later. Love at first sight is real and it can last! Despite the JW influence!!
early marriage
by concerned mama 18 Replies latest social family
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slipnslidemaster
Pioneer or get married. What other choices are they offered? Couple that with the hormones raging in their little bodies, the indoctrination and bam! All the kids I knew were married by 21.
It funny because if you are older then 25 people start to write you off as a viable marriage partner.
Slipnslidemaster:"The average person thinks he isn't."
- Father Larry Lorenzoni -
JBean
Hi Individualswife... after reading your post, I have to say 2 things: 1) you are in the minority and 2) you are sooooo lucky to have found your soulmate...some people spend their whole lives looking. (Oh, and 3.... congratulations on a wonderful family!) Jbean
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LB
My son was married at 21 5 years ago and his wife was 18, barely 18. It was way too young but of course, the sexdrive was active. I feel very sorry for him at this stage. He gave up a lot to be married so young. Is he happy now? Not really, his wife is very needy and jealous of any time he spends with us. If we see him 2 or 3 hours a month I'd be surprised.
Oh what looks good when you are young isn't all that attractive a short time later.
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Room 215
Hi all,
JBean and Slip&Slide hit the nail on the head. In JW culture, the only way adolescent JWs who are not self-assured enough to tell the elders and other hardass JWs to mind their own business often conclude that the only socially acceptable way to deflect the pressure to pioneer, go to Bethel, etc., is to marry.
The Watchtower culture relies too heavily on the unifying value of both partners sharing the JW belief system as the one overriding ingredient for a successful marriage. By doing so, it downplays the vital importance of seeking personal and cultural compatibility with one's prospective mate, and even the need for a keen sense of financial responsibility.
These are among the reasons separation, divorce and other marital problems are so common among them -- often much more prevalent than JWs will admit to.
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Billygoat
LB,
This is just a little suggestion about your daughter-in-laws jealousy. Why don't you take some personal time with her? The next couple times they come over, make a concerted effort to visit with her only. I was very nervous about my boyfriend's parents and spending time with them. But they have made it known that they are concerned about ME for me...not just their son's love interest. Something like that might make her realize that you love her not only as a DIL, but also as an individual.
My two cents...
AndiPS: Might she be jealous because she doesn't have a relationship with her parents like your son has with you? Is she close with them?
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LB
Well Billy the past few days have caused it to get much worse. The DIL called us apostates and said she didn't want her hubby to come around at ALL any longer. I told her I'd like to hear that from my son so he got on the phone and said sorry dad, we have to do this. Then hung up.
We know he won't give up on us or cut us off forever. But for now we will let him stew. I plan to send him a note telling him now much we both love him and that we will be there for him, when he is ready. Other than that I will back way off.
Just one more reason to light up a Christmas tree I guess.
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Jonesco
I'm a girl from Denmark, so sorry if my spelling i'sent so god.
I'm 20 years old. I've been married since I was 18 years.
I've meet my husband when I was about 16 years old, I know it is a very young age but we just fell in love. My parents wanted us to wait until I was 18. We did, though it was very hard, because we really did love each other, so something like not touching each other and have to say godbye to each other every night, it was really hard. But we maid it, and we are very proud of it today.
But even though I love my husband, I can see why everyone said that it was very early. We are stille together, and we still love each other, but we really had some tough years. I was very much, how do you say it, attached to my mother, so I just missed her all the time, my husband was very surporting and comfirred me, but I was just very sad. The only thing I could think of was, the next time we should go home to my parents.
I don't think I had travelled enough on my own or just been young on my own, and that was also a thing that I can see can be a problem, especially becaus my husband was 6 years older then me, so he had experiated a lot on his own, I didn't tell him because I didn't wanted him to think that I was sorry I married him, cause I wasn't, I would just have wissed that we had meet each other later.
So if you can wait I think it is the best for you, but if you have meet the right guy and you a sure then it is better to get married, than wait a looong time and do something wrong.
Yours Sincerely
Maria
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out4good3
The DIL called us apostates and said she didn't want her hubby to come around at ALL any longer.
This statement brought about many memories and arguments me and my wife used to have before I finally made my stand.
When she had her crisis of conscious crying before the elders and started her study into dubdom I used to have books and other things that were very dear to me around the house. As she studied with the sisters I saw my things being thrown away without so much as asking me. I came home one day to find her throwing away everything that had the moon and 13 star Procter and Gamble symbol on it. Then she turned her attention to cabbage patch dolls, smurf toys, and some selected nintendo games, specifically the Legend of Zelda. Time went on and she turned to saying things like "I would never allow this or that in my house" of " I'll never watch this or that". She used the usual justification JW justification of demonizing almost everything. What that came to mean was if it doesn't "look right" to the two old lifetime pioneer ladies she was studying with, the congregation, or if it went counter to what the WT said she didn't want exposure to it and I was not to expose myself to it whether I was interested or not. She'd gotten comfortable with the WT and those old sisters pushing their conscious on her and she in turn was pushing her conscious on me.
About two years after I was baptised during my "wake UP" phase all that rudely came to a screeching halt. I had to bring her attention back to the knowledge that this was my house too and that I don't recall either her or the society paying any of the bills around here.
Hopefully, your son will get a little backbone and not be led around by the nose of his needy little bride.