Is this new theocratic warfare?

Witness 007

Just go with it if it's what you wanted....tell her she can touch you again.

Otherwise you may end up like me in my marriage hugging the dogs for some affection.....sad!

yknot

That deserves a reward!

Take her somewhere fun and romantic and lavish her with attention!

Afterall you will want to follow through if you are going to be using a praise/punishment system (might wanna read BF Skinner too)

Witness007, the same might do yall some good too........re-connecting and re-directing!

Witness 007

......Sorry about your dog...and Yknot I treat her like a princess.

FireNBandits

Yeah man, just go with it and reward her positive behavior!

Martin

cameo-d

REWARD. And it should be as immediate as she has behaved!

I think you are at a critical point where you could influence re-directing her interests.

First, I would take her to a champagne brunch on SUNDAY to "fill that meeting gap"....then off to BARNES and NOBLE to find her some new reading interests. Maybe explore the hobby section. It would be good for her to get inspired to start some time consuming projects that will give her pride of accomplishment. (That must be something missing with WT slavery) Let her pick out some new reading material (you MUST replace the crap she has thrown out and the time she normally spends on it.) Buy her some new books to keep her busy with her reading interests so she won't miss the mags.

After spending a few hours there, (and they have overstuffed comfy chairs available so she and sit and read for awhile) then, I would suggest coffee and a snack while there....and then off to an afternoon movie.

You need to give her a good taste of what she will be missing if she chooses WT over family life.

Keep her week-ends booked for entertainment. As long as she can find happy entertainment to fill that WT time, I think you've got a good chance of getting things back on track.

I would say do something EVERY week end for the next few weeks. Later you can gradually drop to twice a month. If she doesn't do "holidays" then take the opportunity to go off on a week-end trip together. Maybe a rental cabin in some senic place? Think of places where it might just be the two of you and not a lot of crowded entertainment.... go explore caves, or bike trails, go out on a deep sea fishing adventure, or a boat cruise...maybe just a harbor cruise, how about a hot air balloon ride.... some sort of adventure. Something new and unexpected.

What do you think?

J-ex-W

So I ask why, to which she replies, "you said you didn't want them in the house."

She may have been advised by an elder or a friend that she needs to abide by your wishes as head-of-household. The brothers also say things like, "We don't want to make anybody mad." Also, WT and Awake! publications are available on cd's now, much easier to store discreetly, if she were so inclined.

In other words, this may simply be a continuation of her 'faith behaviors' and not indicate a change of heart of any kind. I mention this because some of the advice I saw posted, about this being a time to step up efforts to influence, concerned me. That tactic could backfire and force her faith-attitude and behaviors to go 'underground,' creating needless undercurrents of resentment and ramping up a sense of religious persecution on her part.

I would tell her, simply, "I noticed you got rid of the literature in the house. I didn't expect you to toss any of it--though, I appreciate your showing consideration for my feelings." This may be all she needs to hear, to feel like her gestures are positively acknowledged and with no waves of pressure following behind. [She may already be bracing herself for more to come, so she may feel relieved when a simple 'thanks' is all that comes.]

Just my two cents. Good luck with all of this--I know it's not easy.

J-ex-W

StAnn

K - What non-WT book was she reading? I ask because my husband and I share books. First he reads it, then I read it, then we discuss it, or vice versa. She probably enjoyed reading the mags and then discussing them out in FS. Read what she's reading and discuss it with her at home. If she's making an effort to do what you want, she should be able to see that you're making an effort to meet her halfway.

The books DH and I read aren't exciting. It's the idea that we're making the effort to learn about things that interest the other. For instance, my husband has been reading about Samurai armor (boring) and I've been reading about self-sufficiency and miniature breed farm animals. Not exactly exciting topics but it's important to bone up on your spouse's interests.

StAnn

OUTLAW

You got what you wanted..It`s Reward Time for the Mrs.!!..Do something Really Nice for Her!!................. Laughing Mutley ...OUTLAW

orangefatcat

I agree, she did as you requested and now you have to do something nice for her as a sign of good faith and your love for her. You never know things could change for you both and you may rediscover you deep love for one another again. all the best Orangefatcat is a romantic at heart. Loves champagne and great food soft music and a man who smalls gorgeous. so bring it on. OFC PS Flowers are always nice too and some candles as well instead of fattening chocolate. keep us updated. OFC

kzjw

form Cameo-d;

First, I would take her to a champagne brunch on SUNDAY to "fill that meeting gap"....

She's still doing meetings & fs...no change there. I just think she moved the pubs to her moms, which is fine by me. I just don't want it in my house.

from J-ex-W;

In other words, this may simply be a continuation of her 'faith behaviors' and not indicate a change of heart of any kind.

Nail on the head there! She's just moving her study time to mom's house.

St Ann, she's just reading a diet book - I know better than to get in that one(it's no-win if a husband ever discusses wieght with one's wife - lol) thanx 4 the responses - it's just another day in j-dub land...

KZJW

Is this new theocratic warfare?

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