Anybody shun you that you wish wouldn't? (page 3)

Kudra

When I sent out my invites to my wedding a couple of my friends who had good contact with me until that time stopped communicating with me.

I don't live in the same town as these girls so I can't say for sure if they would shun me but it has been three months since I got married and not one of these three "best friends" has even called or written me an email congratulating me.

-K

lisavegas420

There was a time, not long ago that I would have said 'yes, my parents and siblings" but after nearly 20yrs......It's really not such a big deal anymore. I would not trade a single person currently in my life for any of them.

lisa

undercover

I would not trade a single person currently in my life for any of them.

There is a point where you have to move on. You can't make people accept you or like you. If they choose to cut you off from their life, the best thing is to go your own way. Life's too short.

JWs train converts to be prepared for when they may be ridiculed by family or friends along with training them to cut off former friends. They're conditioned to have no heart or feeling for anyone but an imagianary being in outer space. In turn, when people wise up to the BS of the WTS, they're going to have to realize that they will be ostracized and shunned. It will hurt, but we have to move on and welcome new people in our life who accept us as we are.

flipper

MEGADUDE- Good thread ! Yes- I miss my two daughters 21 and 20 and they shun me in spite of just being inactive for 5 years. I just talked to my older ex-Gilead sister for the first time in almost 5 years in regards to her health and she was nice, and authentic at least temporarily . I am making innroads on some witness family members , nieces, nephews who I hadn't talked to in a long time and developing rekindled relationships. No luck with my daughters - yet. Think I've been bad-mouthed by their mom- a devout , fanatic witness who has gone to great lengths to proclaim me a " godless heathen " to my daughters. But I'm trying to gradually " Steve Hassanize " my witness family with tactics to battle their " cult mind control". Time will tell. I'll never give up. Peace out, Mr. Flipper

jws

I'm not officially DF/DA, but I was marked by most of the congregation.

That was several years ago. There were one or two people that I missed, but overall, not really. I wasn't that close to too many of them anyway and always knew that with many of them, our friendship was conditional on me being a good little JW (something I never really thought I could live up to). I always had "worldly" friends and I just swapped out. Spent more time with them and made more friends "on the outside".

Now I live 1000 miles away from all of that. I've had to do a lot of giving up and those people are WAY down on the list of people I miss. The only old JW friend I hang out with lives in the same area and was disfellowshipped years ago. I never stopped talking to him and we used to meet in secret to hang out.

I have friends of over 25 years now from high school and others that I still visit every time I'm back home. There's no judgment. Sometimes I run into JWs and there's always that tension in the air. They can see by the look of me (with facial hair) that I'm not a regular JW anymore. They can be courteous, but you can sometimes catch that hint of judgment.

oompa

yes...many, but it is different being shunned as a faded....anybody i run into is friendly and we chat....sometimes i will even play golf with some of my old buddies or play tennis....or i can have them over to dinner with me and my hardcore jw wife and they come and have a good time....but there are only about 8 couples or families that will do this

so how am i shunned you say?.....because i am left out of EVERYTHING!....no parties....no volleyball at the park....no group golf outings i used to do...no big beachhouse trips with the big clique i was in....no ski trips....no fishing trips....no hiking trips...no phone calls....no invites to my old friends homes...(well, one in two years)....and i am shunned by my wife if i want to have any jwd friends over....or my neighbors....or basically anybody not a jw........so its like that.......very isolated for the most part.........oompa

OUTLAW

Laughing Mutley ...OUTLAW

MegaDude

I knew when I DA'd it meant giving up certain people and I accepted that. In the case of my brother it seemed like the thorn that would not go away. I kept reaching out and getting rebuffed for over a decade. Then late last year, he decided on his own to quit shunning us. It's been great to have him back. Still, a strong curiosity makes me wonder what happened to all those "friends" I spent years of my life with. As for my mother still being in, I have always seen her as never leaving so the emotional ties were cut. She lives 10 minutes from me but I feel like she really isn't a part of our family.

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I don't know if many of you remember Billygoat, a frequent poster here years ago. She is shunned by her father and her stepmother and her two brothers. However, something remarkable happened to her a couple of weeks ago. The mother she was separated from in Japan as a toddler found her on the Net. Billygoat has always wanted to know her real mother but she had been taken away by her father when she was little when the two divorced. A couple of weeks ago I got to be at the airport when she and her mom laid eyes on each other after over three decades. It was a sight I will remember for the rest of my life. Her Japanese mother exuding this zen-like calm of a deeply centered person walking up the ramp from customs. Billygoat's hand going to her mouth as she saw her. The tears coming down their faces as her mother gently put her hand on her face and they embraced.

SnakesInTheTower

A couple of touching stories there....

My JW mom still talks to me, but we live 10 hours apart, so its not so hard for her as it would be if she still lived here.

My big sister (not biological) still talks to me, but generally just when I get my haircut, rarely do I get a call otherwise. She recently made "her religion" off limits to discussion.

My best (male) friend and former roommate (and fellow elder) has not contacted me in months, I was the last one to call to get together for coffee.

My best (female) friend hasnt contacted me since we had lunch together a few months ago. I called her but her MS husband took the call. I got to talk to her, but I suspect he put an end to her talking to me or having lunch (though he was always invited to join us). So I cant say if it is JW related or jealousy.

I get a few calls/emails every once in awhile, but my phone remains mostly silent from JWs except one inactive JW who is done with the Borg....

I suspect I have been marked, even if unofficially. I see people at the local coffee hangout and they either ignore me or act strange and try to get away as quickly as possible.

Oh well.... they closed the door not me.

Snakes ()

I quit!

I wish they would all wake up and stop acting that way but that isn't going to happen. But now that I think about it some of the people that have acted that way toward me are people I really didn't care for anyway so I guess you could say it has been a blessing in those cases. Some of them I liked died without ever speaking to me again. I think that it is sad that they would let a religion come between friendships.

Anybody shun you that you wish wouldn't?

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