------<-----------@ For Oompa

FlyingHighNow

Hey, honey, don't beat yourself up. We are never going to get to say we are completely grown up. Not on this side of death. We learn something new everyday. Garshg, you placed your feet in your mouth. I do it all the time. Good thing my tootsies are sized 6.

oompa

thanks girl...and it wont be the last time i do...whew...oomps

FlyingHighNow

Yeah, don't take the reactions of people too hard. Bobby Goldsboro the singer, went on a talk show to try to get people to stop telling "Pollack" jokes. Guess what he sang? The song She's Too Fat for Me. And people wrote in and complained. So see? Even celebrities goof up sometimes. I still listen to Bobby's music, especially the song I Love How You Love Me.

J-ex-W

Hey, honey, don't beat yourself up.

FHN-- He's not beating himself up. He needs serious self-reflection, not sympathy.

it does not eat me up, but it did bother me....however posting about this will bother me for much longer.......oomps

Oompa-- Sure. Because of the uncomfortableness of feeling 'caught.' The negative feeling of receiving unexpected negative backlash is what gets to him most.

Unfortunately, I have very strong basis for recognizing this kind of a mindset. Referring to the thread about what list of things to do before I die:

by J-ex-W:

Make sure my [by then, grown] sons know that there dad was raping/ molesting me for years throughout our marriage, and that he had molested at least two of his sisters before he ever met me. They need to know so they can protect their own daughthers, if they have any, from Grandpa Jason. [If he ever remarries, God help the woman!]

My ex and his older brothers started out like this as young teens, maybe even pre-teen. Oompa's disrespect perhaps does not reach this exact level, but ya know...it's kind of like the WT Society: not operating as full-on cult but only as a high mind-control group...a hair shy of a cult. Still crappy way to deal with people, either way.

Oompa--You feel more sorry for the negative backlash brought on to yourself from that post of yours than for the deep flaw in your character which still persists. Examine that, man. Examine that.

J-ex-W

The song She's Too Fat for Me.

FHN-- Yes, in proper context, things can be received in good humor. My sister-in-law, a tall, big girl, got married to a tall, big guy...and it was by her request that this song was on the wedding reception playlist. She and her new husband were the first ones out on the dance floor for it!

FlyingHighNow

J-Ex-W,

I think you're being way too hard on Oompa, it's not like he stole some little old lady's purse of kicked a dog. He made a childish remark. It's being judgmental of you to decide what Oompa feels bad about. Don't take it all so personally. My remarks to Oompa were to help him correct himself. That's the goal, isn't it? Why try to grieve his very soul over it?

You never said something in a way that ended up with a backlash?

Now, please. I don't want this thread locked or to poof into thin air.

FlyingHighNow

The problem with Goldsboro was that he was whining about Polish people being joked about, then he sang an insulting song that made fun of fat girls. The song doesn't offend me. I am fairly plump. But it caused plump girls to take his case less seriously.

J-ex-W

FHN-- The other thread poofed because of the original spirit of its original post. This one won't. I'm not trying to demonize Oompa. I do know from experience, though, that letting people sit with the uncomfortable feeling a while is sometimes the best way to let them go back and examine their attitude later. It doesn't mean I couldn't converse or even joke with him on a different thread at a different time, if his post there was...of a different nature.

And in case you didn't notice, there is also willingness to go with the lighter tone of this thread as well (story about sister-in-law and that song you mentioned). Stuff CAN be funny!!

Borrowing Flipper's phrase,

Peace out!

J-ex-W

wings

Sorry I missed the fray. Or maybe not sorry actually. Anyway J-ex-W I am sure he is sorry, honestly. He was telling me that story this morning and in the context of our conversation it was just a story about his youth. 9th grade. I didn't hear about the bag thing, or suggest it would be a good topic on a public forum, but he has his own path to follow.

His bark is worse than his bite. He is a good man, and I am sure your chastisement has had an effect on him. Enough already.

wings

J-ex-W

Wings-- My statement was done, and 'signed off' already. Your "enough already" came late, long after dust has settled. I respond now only because I know your intention was good. But I'm now hopping in the shower, as I have company coming soon. So...

Again-- Peace out.

J-ex-W

------<-----------@ For Oompa

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