by truthseeker 16 Replies latest jw friends
It's hard work pretending when you're doing the fade - it's even harder when for one reason or another, you make a decision to attend a "gathering".
I found I stopped looking at people as I used to and looked at them in a different light, new light - it can never be the same again.
I quit in 83 after fading since 76.
My wife stayed in till about 95.
She has a large Italian family, many who are trapped in the tower.
So, I told them dont talk to me like I'm a Jw anymore.
And I still ended up being invited to family gatterings which were also JW gatherings picnics, volleyball games, dinners, etc.
My wife would say this is a family get together, so I would go. The whole hall would be there.
But they didnt preach to me. So we were all cool.
Wow Jag, sounds like your gatherings went well...
We weren't invited. But then there weren't many social events when we were "in." Though when we do meet the odd jw, they do seem to avoid trying to reconvert us. I think it would make a difference if one of us were still "in" rather than both of us were out as to inviting us to "gatherings."
Blondie
I still see some of my friends since my abrupt fade, that will probably never change. What shocks me is an invitation to something I would have never been invited to before. I think maybe they are curious about us or genuinely feel they should do their part to get us back. I would feel kind of silly, having not went to a meeting in 8 months, and showing up at a Tupperware party.
I don't live in the area where I last attended meetings, so I don't get invited (thankfully) to local functions. I have attended a handful of meetings when family comes to town and the Memorial.
When I go back to my old town, I occaisionally see JWs from there. They are all very warm and friendly. I don't get the hard sell or a guilt trip.
If someone were to stick thier dogmatic views in my face, I'd stick my rejection of the same back at them and my reasons for such.
I'm very much live and let live.
-- Not Feeling It
Sure I attended gatherings. I was single and looking.
Still get invited to something once a year or so.
There was a time when we either had people round or were round at others every weekend. We were, as they used to say at the core of the congregation.
And, although my wife is still in, they dropped us like hot potatoes as soon as I stopped attending. Seems to me their love is very conditional.
Didn't get invited.
The more time that goes by the less JW gatherings I'm invited to. The only ones I'm invited to now are through my active JW family members.
I don't mind the occasional gathering, just to catch up with the few people that I did like and was friendly with. It does make for an awkward situation with some people though. You realize just how conditional friendships are when you start to lose the zeal of being a JW. Things are different just because you don't go to meetings. They're unsure of how to treat you. Some JWs that I wasn't that close to who just happen to be at the same function will actually shun me...as if I was DF or something.
I like to go into "fly on the wall mode" at some JW functions. I listen to the conversations and see how JWs are thinking these days. I'm a little surprised at just how secular a lot of them have become. There's not much talk about "paradise", "new system", "conventions" or "field service". The old school is dying off and the new kids are just JWs by name, they don't really live it like our parents did.
