JWs and Domestic Violence (page 3)

mouthy

My husband used to beat me. When I told the elders they said "Well at least your free to still go preaching ,we have brothers in prisons who do not have that freedom" So I considered it a privalidge (DAH)
BUT,,,, Now I am OUT!!!!! If I had been my husband I WOULD have beat me!!!!!! I used to tell him about the Paradise earth EVERYday!!!!!!! Told him about smoking, ! ORAL SEX!!!! nor reporting Income tax( He used to go to his Priest give him 3 bucks & get a receipt for $300.00)
He is dead,,,,but I think about how I drove him to bash me..... Poor guy I looked after him while he was dying & he wanted to become a JW cos he thought I was a Christian...But he died before he had a chance ,but a BR? gave the talk at his funeral ,& mentioned that he had spoken to him twice, Frank(hubby) had said he wanted to get away from me. That is because at the time he died I was "marked" because I had read Bottings Book. ( I forgot what it is called now but he was apostate....

Amha·aret

Hi Jamie,

Thanks for relaying your story. It sounds like you really went through the mill and I'm sure it wasn't easy to write about it. I'm so happy that you met such a nice husband and were able to put the previous bad relationship behind you.

Am

Quandry

Jamie and Misguided,

I am so sorry you were treated this way. You both are strong women, and I admire you both for getting out of the abusive situation and hope that your lives are wonderful now!

Amha·aret

As some of you have already alluded to, the headship thing does spill over to abuse of kids sometimes too. Some of the stories of dv also mention the husband/father hitting the kids. I've noticed this among jws. Even when i was in, watching people hit their kids used to seriously upset me (i'm even getting those feelings now writing this!). It's nothing short of bullying.

I remember at one meeting, a visiting sister (who was a fleshly sister to someone in my cong) and her youngest child was there. I'm guessing the child was about 5 or 6 at the time. The child acted up, nothing major - just being a kid. The mother gave her an almighty whack that echoed around the hall and then picked the child up by the neck and dumped her on the chair! The sister is a childminder for other dub kids - comforting eh?! Of course, not a word was said to the sister after this although it shocked the hell out of quite a few of us.

The last assembley I was at, held at the beginning of the year, was on at a hotel so the staff were milling around as well as a few hundred dubs. I was in the loo and heard a woman berating her child as well as hitting it (hard by the volume of the noises). I expected the child to be about 7 or 8 by the way the woman was speaking to him but when she came out, I saw the child was no more than 2 years of age. I was sickened and was the closest I have ever been to hitting someone that day. Just so that horrible "Christian" woman knew what it felt like. I'll never forget that woman's face. She's a disgrace and I fear for that poor child. Although I blame the religion more than the person as I know what pressure and trying to get such a young child to sit still can do to someone.

As a child, a friend's father used to beat her and her brother with a slipper or a belt. If they really misbehaved, the buckle end of the belt was used. Sick!

yknot

There was all sorts physical, emotional, verbal and spiritual abuse in my house.

The elders turned a blind eye but to this day hold me liable for calling the police when I was a small child (but hey he never touched my mother again!). After that the physical abuse lessened but was mainly focused at my sister and I in the form of rough handling, slaps to the face, and forceful/intimidation behavior (punching wall next to our heads). My mom had been so thoroughly broken by the POs handling of the police report she refused to call the police and forbid us to as well...... always saying to let the elders handle it ...... which of course they never did.

Either way everytime the Elders allegedly spoke to Mom's Ex he would come back and say the elders believed him and there would be no reprove or DF. The Elders never once after confering spoke to my mother or gave encouragement other then to remind her she had 'no grounds to divorce or remarry'...... and that I was evil and reallly to blame.

The only consolation is the fact they steadfastly refused to give him privileges and allegedly will never grant any.

Hmm and they wonder why I don't respect them?

Reasons I concluded:

1. Weak Beta Males who desire to be viewed as more are drawn to this religion since it props men up above women and boost their egos. This turns many into absolute tyrants.

2. Elders like to judge and be held in esteem but rarely really want to judge another man unless they despise him personally, women and children are always easy targets for reprove and DFing since they have no 'equality' with these men.

J-ex-W

I think about how I drove him to bash me.....

Mouthy-- Okay, this sentence makes me ill. I feel for you, that you've been so beaten down and indoctrinated with the classic 'blame the victim' mentality that, even after all these years, you still believe you could be to blame for your husband's violent temper. Not your fault, Hon...and I know you don't mean for other abuse victims to think that they are at fault for being abused, either.

J-ex-W

restrangled

Mouthy.....

If I had been my husband I WOULD have beat me!!!!!! I used to tell him about the Paradise earth EVERYday!!!!!!! Told him about smoking, ! ORAL SEX!!!! nor reporting Income tax ( He used to go to his Priest give him 3 bucks & get a receipt for $300.00)
He is dead,,,,but I think about how I drove him to bash me....

Mouthy no one deserves to get beat. You did not drive him to beat you. Because you had opinions, and spoke of what you believed....never justified physical abuse. If it was that upsetting he could have walked out the door for a few hours. Please...remove that thought from your mind if you can.

r.

mouthy

J-EX-W..... Yes I still feel that way... Think about it,living with someone who was always pushing WT doctrine. I can understand why you dont agree!!!! But if I think back to how I kept on & on,I wanted him to be a JW SO BAD,,,,,,, I never shut up ( I guess you can figure that by my name Mouthy,) That is why I named myself that way....

But you know I still have hopes,that I MAY see him again , & by Now he knows the truth....> not the one I was pushing.
I know after some on here know my life, & how he was, they will say HE will NEVER go to Heaven, BUT MY understanding of the Bible is >>>> God examines HEARTS!!!!NOT religions,
I have never known anyone who could tell what is in a persons heart. I met Dr Penfold A world wide know heart specialist ( I tried to convince him that JWS had the truth.And HE said all the hundreds of hearts he had touched ,he never could tell what kind of a person they were.
That helps me a great deal.....I dont have a religion but I do have a personal relationship with Christ.

SORRY I MADE YOU ILL

NO ROCKS PLEASE!!!!!!!!!

mouthy

Please...remove that thought from your mind if you can.

r.

Wish I could has anyone got an eraser for thoughts? And let me tell you kids, that when you become old, It is hard to remember what I did today, I have to keep a diary, but I REMEMBER so vividly what happened YEARS ago, as if it happened YESTERDAY!!!!!

J-ex-W

SORRY I MADE YOU ILL

Mouthy-- Please...no need to apologize nor to explain anything; I meant that I felt ill for your sake, on behalf of what you've gone through. I hope you find all that you are looking for, for your future.

(((( HUGS ))))

J-ex-W

JWs and Domestic Violence

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