Professional Counseling vs. "Bible Study"

insearchoftruth

We found out that my stepson had committed a crime against our neighbor, having stolen a significant amount which would amount to larceny. The neighbor has agreed to not call the police due to the desire to not have a record pinned against our child, with the agreement that we obtain counseling for him.

My wife has still not sought out the professional counseling, but has him instead doing a 'bible study' with a member of the congregation she is studying with (happens to be the husband of the gal she is studying with) reading various chapters of the Young People Ask 2 book. (and the son feels it is a bunch of crap).

I have tried to tell my wife that reading a WTS book with a non - trained individual that does not even know the true situation is no where close to counseling, and in fact that she is in actuality lying to the neighbor. My wife of course feels that 'bible based education' is far better.......I am thinking of having the neighbor ask if the counseling has seemed to help him.....

DoomVoyager

(and the son feels it is a bunch of crap).

That's the important thing here.

insearchoftruth

Yes it is, when she was at the meeting last night, he said at least they are using the book 2 since it does not have multiple pages on masturbation.....

boyzone

I can only suggest you take him to councilling yourself (if he's agreeable) as well as the bible study. Then let the lad tell you which one he's benefitted from the most.

mrsjones5

I think that since the agreement has been made invalid (a jw book study is in no way a means of counselling) the neighbor is no longer under an obligation not to make a report to the police. And I really think it was foolish for the neighbor not to call the police in the first place.

OnTheWayOut

I agree that taking him to professional counseling is much better.
I don't know how much influence you have in the situation. If you
can force it to happen, I would recommend that. If you can covertly
take him to counseling, that wouldn't be bad either.

If you feel like your hands are tied, start with the police juvenile people
and ask what you might be able to do for him. They might have great
advice on how to "force" him to go to a professional.

insearchoftruth

Mrs. Jones, I agree.......and I also feel that by what my wife is doing, the agreement is null and void........

boyzone, I wish I could take him, but she will tell him how awful it will be, and also for the most part not allow time for it to happen.......he is starting to act out against her and her JWness, but she does not see it......and I think she will end up just pushing him away from her as soon as he is old enough to leave....he is just under 16 now.

undercover

I think it was gracious of the neighbor to work with you and your wife to obtain help for the boy and not get the police involved...

However, if your wife is not going to live up to her end of the bargain, she is only enabling her son to continue in his actions as he has not been punished for his crime (unless you call sitting in on a JW Bible Study punishment) nor is he receiving any assistance in helping him break this cycle before he gets into some real trouble.

Looking at this from an impersonal point of view...you can do one of two things. You can try to take the boy to counseling yourself, thus living up to the agreement made (which is tough because he's not your son) or you can let on to the neighbor that counseling isn't going to happen thus giving him the right to call the authorities and have the crime investigated and the guilty party punished.

This puts you in a tough spot...you may have to side with the neighbor and not your wife on this subject.

Good luck.

boyzone

boyzone, I wish I could take him, but she will tell him how awful it will be, and also for the most part not allow time for it to happen.......he is starting to act out against her and her JWness, but she does not see it......and I think she will end up just pushing him away from her as soon as he is old enough to leave....he is just under 16 now.

Then I think its time you sat down with your wife and have a calm talk to her. Make her aware of how the lad really feels about the JW's (without betraying a confidence if you can) and the likely consequence of her bible study.

If she tells him how awful it will be, then give your stepson the reigns here. Let HIM decide what he wants to do. Remind him that the agreement with the neighbour is for him to go to councilling. If he doesn't, the agreement is broken and the neighbour has the right to report the matter to the police. Does your stepson really want that to happen?

If you give him control, then with your support he can go to his mum and tell her what he prefers to do. On top of the talk with your wife, the two of you might be able to gain some ground and get him some worthwhile help.

insearchoftruth

That is my main concern, getting him the help he needs, right now I see him digging in with his bad behavior, paying less and less attention to what he is supposed to be doing and really in essence just going against the norm.

Being a new JW study, she is under the impression that 'coming to Jehovah' will be the solution, I try to remind her of the rebellion she had as a child when her parents attempted the same with her...and the chasm that is now between her and her mother after the years (her mother is now disfellowshipped).

Professional Counseling vs. "Bible Study"

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