I need some help, explaining to my daughter!

crazyblondeb

My daughter thinks that me, coming to these sites is bad. She thinks, that because I have been out for so long, that I should be "over it", and just move on. I think I really have. I have done alot of healing here. I tried to explain to her, what it was like growing up, and being told that we were going to be persecuted "anytime" (malawi), and everything else that we had to deal with.

Would some of you help her understand, that it is healing, to try and help others . And, that we don't just dwell on jw issues. She is 24, and has no concept of anything we are dealing with. I'm having a hard time explaining it to her right now.

Kelli is a great daughter! She just doesn't understand, why 25 years later, I'm still here...............

brinjen

Kelli...

Coming to these sites doesn't mean you're not over it. Some come here to heal, other come to help others heal. It's great to be free. Free from the fear of armageddon, demons, to be able to think for yourself and not have this dark cloud that is the cult you were once a part of that dominated your life in every aspect you could ever imagine (and more).

You never, forget how you felt back then so many (including your mom) come to these sites to help others still trapped free themselves. Freedom is wonderful and we love to share.

flipper

KELLI- I was raised in the JW religion like your mom since I was born. Got out 5 years ago at age 44. My ( never was a witness ) wife initially got on the site to see how to deal with my witness family. Then I started reading some things on this site that I was NOT allowed to read in the Jehovah's Witness church - they wouldn't tell us about scandals and such. 95 % of Jehovah's Witnesses did NOT know they settled an out of court child abuse lawsuit with 16 witness children victims. But we found out on this site and oher ex-witness sites. The rank and file members of Jehovah's Witnesses are under what's called " information control" - that is they are only told what the church wants them to know. They aren't as members allowed to research any information on their own - or they will get kicked out !

Your mom has helped herself learn how to be free of a " mind controlling cult " in order to think freely once again. It is a support group where we help each other to move along in life after being disrespected and mentally abused in the witnesses. So we help each other here to do just that ! Without this site and getting online to discover information to help her your mom would not have progressed on in life as much as she needed to. So- just aomething to consider . Hope this helps - give your mom lots of hugs !! Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

StoneWall

Kelli,Kelli,Kelli
Where do I start. I guess the truth is as good a place as any. You know how they say sometimes the truth hurts? Or like in the one movie where it says you can't handle the truth. Well that is kinda like how it was for me.
Without people such as your wonderful mother being there for us to kinda fall back on it would've been a lot harder for us that are just realizing that everything wasn't as it seemed within the Org. Its really hard to understand without going thru the years of thought control and self-denial that many of us endured.

Its kinda like going to the movies. Even tho you've been to the same theatres many times to see movies, each movie is different and distinct from others in some ways even while sharing some things in common. Usually always a interesting story nonetheless. Same on here. We all have some things in common but after reading others stories or hearing about their individual lives it allows for a broader understanding of people regardless of age,gender,nationality,education etc.

StoneWall

And the number one reason your mother comes on here is she likes to tease us married guys to see if we will break or integrity. Usually she will talk about going skinny dipping as a young teen-age girl with many of her friends, then it generally goes to her talking about dancing at strip clubs later on and having the most prestigious pole at the dance club.

carla

Part of the healing process is often to help others. All the ex jw's who post here and answer questions from ubm's, family & friends who at first know nothing about jw's are providing a valuable service and have my thanks. I know the faders and those who are toying with the idea of leaving appreciate the experience of those who have already been through it as well.

Gordy

I have often had it said to me that I should "forget it all" not easy when you still have family who are JWs (wife and two daughters).

But coming onto forums like these has helped me keep on going. That many others are going through the same thing. Sometimes even worse.

This makes you realise that you have done the right thing and left the JWs.

You also get the support and help in dealing with any JW argument that you have to deal with.

I have been able to help doubting JWs. ex-JWs, those who have JW in family or have one as a friend, and those who are studying with JWs.

I'm making the 30 years I spent as a JW count for something and are not all wasted.

no more kool aid

Kelli, I am just like your mom (even the same age). I started my rapid fade last spring. It's funny my kids are already past a lot of things probably because I raised them so different than I was.Even though we were in the truth I let them play some sports, didn't drag them out in service in blizzards on Christmas, didn't constantly talk about persecution and being ripped away from me, I could go on and on. But I don't think my husband and I will never be over it, this stuff was forced on us from day one. We both even had a different parental relationship with our parents, telling us as we got older that that their main priority was the organization and if we made a "mistake" they would be willing to never talk to us again until we were in the good graces of that organization. These things just so change who you are. I think we will go on and live good lives, but it's always there right under the surface. So try to understand where your mom comes from and thank her for the incredible gift she gave you that you are not one of us. It sounds like your mom loves you very much!

SnakesInTheTower

cbb..

I have an inactive JW friend who asks me the same thing. I told him, and I say this to your daughter:

Its not so much about the JWs anymore. Its about finding new friends and social circles.... those here on JWD (and other boards like JWS, et al) understand what it was like...we dont necessarily have to talk about our JW past....its just and understanding we have with each other....there is a certain amount of comfort to be had being with others who are like yourself..no matter the circumstances, I still read and post on here, but not nearly as much as I used to. When JWD closes, there will be a scramble to keep up with each other...some will finally move on...others will find another home.....

I have met a lot of great people (hey CBB...when are you coming to visit me and silence...lol)

dont know if any of that helps...but...dont go nuts on the customers.... and have a great holiday...

Snakes ()

The Lone Ranger

I'm over it...but I camer here to get the lastest news about whats happening in the Watchtower world.

I need some help, explaining to my daughter!

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