Ash.....we lost two close family members within 16 days of each other. It was hard to go through, .....so much pain to absorb. I couldnt' go to my stepfather's memorial, although I loved him dearly. I just couldn't hear the Watchtower rhetoric and where they were going to place him. I don't know where we go at death, but for my dear, best friend, cousin, who died secondly, I want to believe she is heaven with our grandparents and her Dad. She wanted to believe that too. It makes me feel good, to talk to her, and tell her how things are going. Maybe she is just in the "grave", but I like to think of her reunited with our beloved family. It makes it more tolerable for me.
Anyway, I feel for you. Think of all the happy times, and talk about them too, with anyone who will listen. Even the dubs believe death is an enemy. Remind them of that. I would tell them that the resurrection hope is no comfort when you want them NOW.
Marilyn (a.k.a. Mulan)