Do you feel embarrassed, humiliated, anger that you were a Jw?

LouBelle

I ask because some posters say they felt totally humiliated, or wonder how they could have been sucked in, or some are extremely bitter and angry about their past. Over the nearly 4 years I've come to totally accept that I WAS a Jw, but have made my peace, and honestly can say I've forgiven, if you will, that part of my life. Totally moved on and do not have negative feelings about it.

blondie

I just consider that more than 6 million people (or more) have been sucked in. No point in letting the opinion of those people matter any more. Self-worth comes from within.

Love, Blondie

Finally-Free

I used to feel angry and embarrassed about it. I eventually realized my anger was taking its toll on my health, so I made a conscious effort to focus on things I enjoy rather than wasting my time mourning over the past. The watchtower took enough of my life already. No point in wasting any more on them.

W

Twitch

No. It happened. It's over. Movin' on,....

wobble

I have felt the whole gamut of emotions,I was fifty-eight years in,so a wasted life. I think the hardest thing is knowing that you have been lied to for all that time.

I am angry that they still try to hide the truth about their murderous Blood Doctrine and I will try to open the eyes of those at risk whenever I can.

Thanks ALL for your posts,they help so much in the healing-recovery process.

Love

Wobble

undercover

A little embarrassed.

Had I not been raised in it, I can say assuredly that I wouldn't have been attracted to the religion.

Just the other day, a friend who knew I had a "past" found out more about what I never would share. (He wasn't nosy, a third party shared with him). He was flabbergasted that I was as involved with it as I was. Having never talked about it and only ever assosciating with him after I was out, he had the hardest time picturing me as a clean cut Ministerial Servant, knocking on doors and pushing magazines, being held up as an example to the youth, etc. He figured I was raised in it and left early in adulthood. He never imagined that I actually spent part of my life doing this shit voluntarily. The look on his face told me just how far I had come from being an active JW to being a non-JW.

nomoreguilt

I still have alot of anger about having been a jw. I look back to the career opportunities that I could have pursued and could have been quite succesful at. I passed up taking advantage of my GI Bill rights, having been a vet and all. NO College for jw's, remember? With a degree in almost anything I wanted to follow, I would not be where I am now. I am succesful in what I do, don't get me wrong, but I could have been much more satisfied doing other things.

When I tell certain friends of my past life they are totally shocked. Not stand offish at all, just surprised that I was one of THEM.....

NMG

purplesofa

Today I am angry,

I guess to a certain extent I was ok with their mess-ups, 1914, the blood issue, 607, covering up sexual abuse, discouraging higher education, asking people to sacrifice god-given talents, giving up precious time to go to meeting after meeting, endless wasted hours of field service time driving around.

But now just a few weeks of studying the NWT a little deeper(as I am not a great researcher or studious person)finding the mistranslation of greek words to english, changing entire thought processes is really pissing me off.

That I walked around for year after year feeling and knowing I was never going to measure up. They never want you to, you never will. Negative messages reinforced over and over and over.

After slamming all other bibles, demanding that we only use WT publications for research, giving us that freaking crumb of a book "Reasoning from the Scriptures" to talk to others about the bible, I am embarrassed that I thought I knew something about the bible. Oh, I study the bible, I would say to people, rather smug.

I knew NOTHING.

All those messages I got droned in my head, alot are gone, I thought I was fairly done, but digger deeper now, I feel as if I only scratched the surface, once again.

aligot ripounsous

I'm still a nominal JW (not sure I'm in their statistics since I don't preach, though) but I'm not embarassed because, somehow, I've tailored that religion down to my personal needs and I feel I'm in no obligation to measure up to the goals they put in front of JWs as outward signs of being a faithful christian : preaching so many hours, attending so many meetings, etc. That position spares me a lot of stress since I've picked up the pieces of creed that suit me and attend the few meetings and parts of assemblies which I elect to. So, when asked by outside people if and why I'm a JW, I don't feel I have to defend an organization at all cost but I can present a qualified explanation of my beliefs, which still come mainly from JW stock.

oompa

Really pissed off at being lied to...controlled.....my family of FOUR generations being lied to....that i passed it on to a fith....crap...trying to let go and inform others as i can..................oompa

Do you feel embarrassed, humiliated, anger that you were a Jw?

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