by LovesDubs 50 Replies latest jw experiences
FF, your post made me think about the good old days when I was single and there was NO DRAMA in my life. Ah, good times, good times!
Oh, I still have a bit of drama when I'm sharing a banana with my bird. He raises hell if I take the last bite. It's easily resolved by getting another banana, or some cashews. Then all is forgiven.
W
Mrs. Jones, I think what your husbands father did, by coming to his son's brothers funeral, was very mature, and caring. HIs son was hurting, and he wanted to be there for him. It had nothing to do with your husbands mother. She is out of his picture, his son, and his feelings, and the death of a young man, his life cut short, are all he cared about.
My husband's ex-wife is weird, an alcoholic, and kinda nuts. 17 years ago, she sent my newborn a mobile for over her crib. My heart kinda melted, that she felt like she could send a gift. We now have a grandson, my step-grandson, in common. We are not best friends, but we can talk and laugh at holidays and birthdays.
Why go where one is not wanted. I have faced this sort of crap from family before. I am usually a very kind and understanding person, but when someone comes off like that and says to EFF-OFF, I Eff WAAAY off. If I were in your shoes I would make paying this sonofabitch off asap priority number one, like within a few months and no later. Pay him with interest. Then keep to yourself when he is concerned. You have never had a face to face with him? Good, you are better off. No reason to spoil a good thing now.
Your husband is a coward. Treat him like one. If he has no loyalty to you, then why show him any? I would freeze up, go cold fish on hte turd as well. But this one, you should tell him what a lump he is and then cool off. Answer him if he asks something, never let the kids suffer for this, but when alone let him know that he sucks.
My wife and mother don't get along...anything I say and do makes no difference at all, so after many years of banging my head against a brick wall I have decided to just keep them seperated like two angry dogs...I just don't have the friggin patients anymore for "she said..." I feel sorry for your hubby growing up with that terrible father...must be traumatic.....he should stick up for you but he probably loves you both and like me, feels like the friggin United Nations in the Rawandan civil war....a bit helpless to find a permenant peaceful resolution. It's easy to see why your husband is afraid of such an abusive father.
007 and LD, the horrible thing I did that got my m-i-l so angry? I married my husband and then brought his two MR/DD kids home from the nursing home to stay. His mom said I only wanted them for their social security check (even though I gave up my good paying job with the USPS to be home with them) and that the boys would be neglected outside of a nursing home. Geez, I worked in/managed a group home for mentally retarded adults for five years before going to work for the USPS. It's not like I went into this blindly and with no training.
Maybe your wife has a legitimate gripe with your mom. Anyway, you're right to stay out of the fray! Just don't get involved in any disrespectful conduct either of them does.
StAnn
i've tried every possible angle and nothing works so I found keeping them seperate and refusing to LISTEN to them complain on each other like a couple of girlfriends fighting for the same guy....but making me feel like jumping in front of a bus.
I am normally a tender and compassionate person, but I have also learned that jerks are always going to be jerks no matter what I do or say. Chalk it up to his insensitivity and do not respond to him at all. He is just looking for ways to be miserable. He won't understand what a clod he is even if it is gently explained to him. YOU did nothing you need to apologize FOR. I would let hubby care for all future correspondence with this arrogant man. Try and put this out of your mind.....and have a GREAT Christmas, sweetie.
hugs,
Annie
After threatening not to do ANYTHING for my kids...my FIL sent them...after Christmas, separate envelopes with no return address on them, checks for one hundred dollars each and notes. To my eldest he wrote "Have you stopped chasing married women yet? Stay in school, the world has enough waiters and bartenders already." Nice Christmas sentiment eh?
I dont know what he wrote to my daughter and other son. But my daughter said something about how hard it was going to be to say thanks without saying something nasty back to him.
geeez...he also said he would be visiting them this month. Wait for it......
LoveDubs... are you seriously going to let that asshole in your house?
I'd get a Merry-fricking-Restraining-Order on his ass, pronto.
You have grounds: he's verbally abusive toward you and your children, he's using financial indebtedness to justify his abuse, and since he is behaving like a miserable creditor/collections agency, he shouldn't be welcome on your property.
Well its my husbands house too and whatever relationship this man has with my kids is between them and him. So I will just make sure I am not around when he is here. He has two other kids and their families he can go see while he is here. If they go out to dinner, I will not go. If he tries to hug me he will not be allowed to.
His father and his sister have died from Alzheimers...and I believe it it manifesting itself in him already at 74. So...I just choose not to lay in front of the bus as he becomes that person.
He wont stay at my house...not now not ever and that will be HIS choice.
