by Quirky1 22 Replies latest jw friends
Not at all. I either get the sympathy look or asked "how did you survive it and manage to get out" question. I definitely have better relationships with my "worldly" friends. People who would do anything for you because they care. . . not because they "have" to.
Purza
A little bit. Some kids in gradeschool that I have kept up with thru my position on my high school reunion committee still are a LOT grudgy.
No, but whenever I tell anyone that I was a witness for 40 years, they look at me like I am insane....which I am...but still.....
I don't have any contact with people, both jw and "worldly" who knew me when I was a jw. But when I tell people who I know now that I was a jw, they're always surprised. One of my fellow journalists told me that I am too mouthy to have ever been a jw, and I said, "Well, I guess that's why I'm not one now."
No one in my life now knows that I was raised as a JW except for my husband and he has no understanding of it. He does accept the fact that I consider it to be a tremendous negative in my past. I never tell anyone of my religious upbrining.
Do I still "feel" like an outcast? Yes, it's hard to shed those feelings from childhood. I always feel like an outsider. Not only was the religion a reason to be shunned by your peers, we were highly encouraged at the KH to not be "a part of the world", to not make non-JW friends, to not participate in any extra-curricular activities. We were the only people in my neighborhood or school that didn't celebrate holidays.
I was an outsider and an outcast during my whole childhood and adolescence. And then when I bolted, I was an outsider with the branch of the family that were JWS. So, of course, I always consider myself an outcast.
But I think it's time for me to change that. Thanks for listening.
most (99.99999954923%) people dont give a shit about jws or if I was ever was one.
I agree with Ip-Sec
Actually, the friends I had before the WT Madness took hold have amazed me.
At the time, they must have (with bloody good reason!) thought that I had taken complete leave of my senses.
However,these days, they continue to be happy to have me back again as a friend.
(In other words, they have been forgiving - something the JWs are supposed to be, but all too often aren't.)
Some of my more petty minded non-JW relatives would throw my JW background at me in an attempt to make me feel uncomfortable.
They, however, would dredge up anything - no matter how petty - in order to achieve that same result.
(I can recall them trying to use the fact that my daughter could not drive a car with a manual transmission as a means to vilify her!).
My wife's family know of my JW past - but, if anything, their attitude is one of sympathy rather than condemnation.
I open up to my co-workers when they ask about my being a JW. Thus many have helped in my exit. Their support was/is phenomenal. Further I had made such a gradual transition that I had "worldly friends" (including co-workers) while a JW. Leaving just gave us a way to spend more time together. Its to the point now that I rarely even feel like I was a JW. (I stay in touch because of a desire to help others with my experiences, my daughter and family members, and the old friends I hope to see leave one day.) Further I deliberately didn't live in my territory so the community didn't know me as a JW. If anything I was known as the PTA President at my daughter's school. Of course it helps to live in such a crowded place like NYC. Small towns are probably very different. Now that I've moved again due to divorce I am making more new friends who know nothing of my past. My last GF knew. Now any new ones probably won't for a while as I very much want to remain an ex ex-JW. Just some of my experiences which of course do not reflect what others may be going through.
Isaac Carmignani
I don't think I'm considered an outcast because of my JW past, because most don't know about it. But I definitely feel like I am an outcast because I don't really know how to behave, somehow. Maybe I'm not jaded enough, I think I come across as too naive and open, or who knows, maybe I'm still nosy, or bossy, or trusting, or maddeningly insecure, or child-like, or something. I don't really know. All I know is that I only have one close friend, and she's a bit of an outcast as well.
