I am a little nervous about posting this.
I would like to share an experience I had recently. I had to have heart surgery. I needed my aortic valve replaced and it turned out that I also needed four bypasses. It all happened rather fast. I have known about the valve for about ten years. It has progressively calcified resulting in the narrowing of the valve slowing down blood flow through the heart.
I had spoken to my cardiologist and he said that I should start thinking about selecting a surgeon in that perhaps in a year or so I would need the operation. I asked him for a recommendation and he gave me a few names. But told me that if either he or a member of his family needed an operation he would go to Dr. X. So I made an appointment with Dr X. After examining me and looking at my records, Dr. X recommended that I have the operation within the month. This was quite a surprise. I thought I had a year at least. I thought it over and decided to have it. They scheduled the operation.
While talking to the doctor I had concerns. My primary concern was a transplanted kidney that I have. I was worried about it being damaged or worse having it shut down completely while my heart was stopped and being operated on. The doctor assured me that he would do everything possible to keep my kidney functioning. But there were no guarantees.
It was decided that it would be best to first test my arteries and wait a week before having the operation. This way the die that was put in my veins would have time to get out of my system and give the kidneys time to recoup from the test. The test showed four bypasses were needed.
When I went to the administration office to register I had one thought on my mind. Hiding the fact that I use to be a witness. I have been admitted here in the past so they had my records. I had a game plan. From various writings that I have read here on this forum I knew that if I left my status as JW, I might get an unexpected visit from the HLC. I didn’t want that. Also, if it said on my chart that I was JW and I needed a transfusion, then perhaps I wouldn’t get it.
I was relieved when I saw the administrator and she had a cross around her neck. We went through the questions , name, address and so forth. When we came to religion I asked her if we could change it to Christian. She said sure. I asked her if there was a difference and she said in an excited voice "yes". Guess she didn’t think JW’s are Christian. She asked me if it was a mistake. In that they had previously typed in the wrong information. I told her no. That I was a witness but no longer am one. That was such a good feeling. It was first time that I told a stranger face to face that I am no longer a witness. So, now I knew the hospital was taken care of. Now I needed to deal with my family.
My family has known that I do not believe in the Society’s teachings any longer. I am thankful that I haven’t experienced the terrible shunning that others here have. I filled out the health care proxy that the hospital provided. I gave my sister all rights over me except where blood was concerned. In the matter of a blood transfusion my doctor was to make that decision.
I was nervous when I handed her the proxy. I left the room after handing it to her and pretended to do something. Giving her time to look it over with my brother-in-law. After a few minutes I walked back in and pointed out that I had given her all rights but in the matter of blood. I told her that when our mother needed an operation and I was her legal rep ., I had to sign papers stating that no blood was to be given her. We all had to watch her die but I was responsible. I told her that I didn’t want her to have that burden. She accepted being my healthcare agent.
The day of the operation I was more worried about waking up without a functioning kidney than the operation itself. I officially woke up two days later. Meaning that is the first I can remember anything. I was still very groggy and in pain.
I was told the night that I first can remember that I was going to be given a transfusion. It may sound strange but I was relieved to hear that. My whole life I was disgusted by the thought of a transfusion and here I was totally understanding that this was something necessary and good. Not evil or vile. The nurse hooked up the bag and in it went. I didn’t feel a thing. I was no big deal at all. No one in my family knew that I had it. I was concerned if I needed another one and they were there. I then came up with the idea that if that did happen, I would just tell them that it was a fraction of blood and not blood. ( In reality all blood given in the US is a fraction of blood, since whole blood is very rarely used.) Since fraction and component are interchangeable words I feel justified in telling them that. After coming up with this idea I felt at ease.
Fortunately, I never needed another transfusion. Almost did, but they decided that shots of Procrit would be better for my kidney doubt I was in any life threatening situation if I didn’t have the transfusion, but my recovery would have taken longer. Family never found out that I had a transfusion and I am during great. My fear of my kidney’s future was unnecessary. If fact because of the improved blood flow, my kidney is doing better than before. I haven’t felt this good in a few years.